Heavy Price
by GemNika
Summary: Pulled from CoLu Week 2017. Everyone thought he was the perfect man, but Lucy knew he wasn't. Her bruised rib definitely knew. What happens when she runs into a man who can hear her soul screaming for freedom?
1. CoLu Week 2017, Day 1: Blossoms

**A/N: Hey everyone! This isn't a brand new story! I've pulled it from the CoLu Week 2017 collection to be a stand-alone story so that you guys can read it in preparation for CoLu Week 2019. (I meant to do this sooner, but... I forgot) Day 3 of CoLu Week 2019 will have an updated chapter for this story in particular.**

**(There are no edits in this chapter from the original posting)**

**Timeline-wise, this is Post-Tartaros with no Alvarez Arc.**

**So without further ado, I give you…**

* * *

**CoLu Week 2017  
Day 1  
_Blossoms_  
**

* * *

Lucy felt the bones in her hand shift as Darren's grip tightened, and she fought back a grimace. They were still in public, but he didn't care about that. So many people passed by as they made their way to the hotel, but no one commented on the vice grip he had on her. She just wished there was someone she could turn to for help. The only problem was that her team loved Darren. They thought he could do no wrong, but she knew firsthand that it just wasn't the case.

Her bruised rib definitely knew.

And how pathetic was she for staying with a man who beat her? Lucy was constantly advocating to the women they helped on jobs that they shouldn't let any man control them. But there she was, with her boyfriend of seven months, following him like a dog. She cowered from him when they were alone. When others were around, he was the perfect gentleman, and no one suspected anything else was the case. She ached for those times when they were with others, when he was gentle with her and so painfully sweet.

Erza, especially, was smitten with Darren being in Lucy's life. So much that Lucy hadn't had the heart to tell her about what he was doing. She'd tried telling Mira, but at just the mention of him, the barmaid had wilted to the ground with hearts in her eyes.

"Keep moving," Darren said. His voice was cool, controlled. He wouldn't yell where people could hear him.

If she had her keys, this would have been easier. But he knew that she relied on them to summon her spirits, and he'd taken her out and away from Magnolia under the guise of a vacation. He'd forced her to leave her keys at home. He'd told everyone it was a romantic vacation. It was anything but romantic.

They'd been just outside of Akane for a week, and it was the first time he'd let her out of the hotel room. The first time he'd allowed her to leave the bed she'd been tied to.

The fact that he'd put a bedpan under her still unnerved her. The only thing that was worse than using it, was watching him empty it.

They wove through the crowded marketplace, and Lucy inhaled the decadent scent of frying fish from a stall. If Natsu had been with her, she would have already been dragged to that stall by him and Happy. She missed those days.

Darren pulled her past the fish stall when she hesitated slightly. She was hungry, damnit. Darren was only letting her eat fruit, and it wasn't nearly enough to sustain her throughout the day.

She was just thankful that he wasn't trying to sleep with her. According to her boyfriend, she was being punished for something, so she wasn't "allowed to enjoy what he could do between the sheets." He didn't realize that Lucy was over the moon about not having to fuck him.

Someone bumped into her as Darren yanked her forward, and Lucy turned her head to apologize. She caught the barest sight of deeply tanned skin, a pointed ear, and a single indigo eye peering back at her over his shoulder. She hadn't seen him since that Infinity Clock business several years prior, but Lucy really could never forget what Cobra looked like.

Except he was supposed to be in prison. Tartaros was long gone, the Council had been rebuilt twice more since then, and they'd been told that all the criminals who'd escaped and needed to be apprehended… well, that there was nothing to worry about.

Their eyes stayed locked when Darren pulled on her hand again, and Lucy took another step away while dread coiled in her gut. She didn't want to go back to the hotel with him. She didn't want to be tied up again and humiliated. The last thing she wanted was to keep hiding the pain he put her through. She didn't call out to Cobra, even when he turned and he walked away from her. She wanted to, though. God, did she want to have the strength to ask for help. Even from someone who'd tried to kill her before. Anything was better than what was waiting for her in the hotel.

"Don't make me tell you again, Lucy," Darren hissed. "We need to go."

"Alright," she huffed. She gasped when the bones in her hand shifted again.

"What was that?"

"I-I mean yes, sir," she whimpered. He didn't pull again, and instead Lucy followed him. It was so much easier to keep her head down and out of trouble. Maybe if she was patient enough, she could slip out when he wasn't paying attention. Maybe.

* * *

For the first time in a week, Lucy was allowed to eat a real meal. It wasn't much by a long shot. Just a sandwich and a handful of fries, but she was in heaven.

"You've been very good lately," Darren said, smiling over his glass of wine. Lucy lifted her gaze from her plastic cup of tap water and gave him a small smile. All she had to do was keep him happy until he let his guard down, and then she could make a break for it.

It wouldn't be too hard to hop on a train to Magnolia. Or even to some other town so she could get to the Rune Knights. There were probably Rune Knights in this town as well, but it was too close. Darren would catch her if she tried to find the outpost there. He needed to be reported. She'd decided in the time since seeing Cobra that she had to do something about this. She couldn't stay with Darren. She couldn't try to rely on someone else to fix this for her. She had to be brave and get out, just like she'd told so many women before.

After their meal, he surprised her again by taking the dishes to their small kitchenette to clean them himself. Lucy went to the bathroom and relieved herself, then peeked at the towels on the floor from his shower earlier that day. There was still a clean towel, but she bit her lip and tossed it to the floor, then laid his wet towels over it.

This was her chance.

She left the bathroom and found him standing right outside it, smiling down at her. She forced herself to smile back. "I was going to take a shower, but I guess housekeeping hasn't been by yet. We're out of towels."

"Just go down to the front desk," he said. "They'll give you some, I bet."

She was surprised when Darren's arms tenderly wound about her waist, but let herself be pulled into his chest. That was even easier than she'd anticipated. She'd been positive that he would have told her to call the front desk and ask for towels. But he was going to let her go down there? By herself?

He kissed the top of her head and Lucy squeaked when his fingertips gently swatted her butt. She pulled back to look up at him, and found herself being directed to the door of their room. And then it closed behind her once she was in the hallway.

She stood there for several seconds, trying to process what had just happened. She couldn't take too long though. He would start wondering where she was, why she was taking so long. If he went down to check at the desk, only to find that she'd never gone there, then Lucy knew she needed to have as much distance between them as possible.

Her footsteps were light and quick down the hall when she finally started to move. There was no point in going to the desk. She didn't want to waste time getting down to the lobby and going out the front door when there was a fire escape at the end of the hall. The window was already open. This was her lucky day, apparently.

A hopeful smile lifted her lips as she started climbing out the window. Freedom. Finally!

Thin arms locked around her waist and throat, and ripped her away from the window. Lucy struggled, even when Darren pushed her forward and slammed her forehead into the wooden frame.

"No towels, huh?" Darren spat. "I know there's a clean one left."

She felt herself being pulled away from the exit, and even though her head was throbbing she fought back. Gone was the time for her to be complacent.

"I guess you didn't notice the Do Not Disturb sign I put up when we left," he growled into her ear. His arm tightened around her throat and dark spots danced in her vision. "And I counted them. You failed my test, Lucy. You know what that means, right?"

She was terrified of what would happen if she just let Darren continue, and when her fist caught him in the jaw, Lucy took the opportunity and lunged for the window once again.

She scrambled out onto the fire escape and down the ladder, ignoring the loud clatter of metal under her bare feet. Cool pavement caressed her toes, and Lucy glanced up to see that Darren hadn't followed her. Maybe she'd hit him hard enough to knock him loopy for a bit. Maybe she'd knocked him out entirely and hadn't realized it.

That didn't matter. Because she was free and there wasn't a chance in hell that she would ever go back.

Lucy turned and darted down the alley, then around the corner and away from the hotel. She'd barely made it half a block when someone appeared out of another alley. There was no time to stop herself from slamming into them. Her eyes slammed shut as she tumbled backward, a soft grunt leaving her when she hit the ground.

There was only silence after that.

'_Please don't be him… Please. Anyone but him.'_

"Lucky Lucy, huh?" said a low voice from above her. Lucy tensed when he chuckled. "I'm definitely not _him_."

Her eyes snapped open and drifted higher to find Cobra staring down at her with his arms crossed over his chest. "Y-You…" She was pretty sure her shoulders sagging and a tearful grin pulling at her lips wasn't supposed to be her reaction to seeing the Poison Dragon Slayer. He'd tried to kill her a couple times already. Granted that was far in the past, but still…

"Lucy!" She went rigid at the sound of Darren's voice coming down the street. Shit. She'd spent so much time trying to get down the building, he'd probably had enough time to get himself together to come after her. This wasn't good. "Lucy, there you are. I was so worried about you."

Like hell was he worried about her. More than likely, he'd drag her back to the room and tie her up again. She looked down at her wrists. It had taken a lot of makeup to cover the red marks that she was sure were going to be bruises in the next couple days.

Darren jogged closer. "Who's your friend?"

"N-No one," Lucy said, closing her eyes. She didn't see how Cobra watched her hand slip over her wrist protectively, or how he set his attention on the brunette coming closer to where she sat.

"Aw, don't be like that," Cobra said, drawing Lucy's wide-eyed attention to the devious smirk on his face. "We go way back."

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

Cobra looked at Darren as he stopped just behind her. "I'm guessing someone ran out," he said. "Lucy's always been forgetful like that. No shoes…"

Darren laughed and bent in half to catch his breath. Lucy knew he didn't need to catch his breath though. And when she glanced his way, she found him glaring at her from beneath his bangs. It was a look that screamed, _You're in big trouble_.

"She really is," Darren said, finally righting himself and plastering a grin on his face. He put out a hand to shake. "Darren, Lucy's boyfriend."

Cobra didn't move to touch him, instead choosing to stare right into his forest green eyes. "Cobra, Lucy's ex-boyfriend."

She could feel the temperature dropping, almost as though Gray was there. Except Darren's magic was nothing like that. He just did cute little illusions. Nothing too powerful. She slowly stood and brushed the dirt off the back of her skirt. Why was Cobra lying? She hadn't seen Cobra since the Infinity Clock. And they'd certainly never dated. Was he just trying to make things worse for her? Knowing his mean streak, maybe he was.

"I hope you can keep her in line," Cobra said, looking over Lucy's head as though she wasn't even there. "I didn't have time for her shit."

"Oh, I manage," Darren chuckled. His hand slipped into hers and he pulled her into his side. With one arm behind her back, Lucy bit back any outward reaction when he started twisting her wrist. "It took a little while though."

"How long?"

"About five months."

Lucy frowned. "We've been together seven mon-" Her words cut off on a whimper when he twisted her arm harder than before. "S-Sorry, sir."

"Nice," Cobra said. His head tilted to one side in thought while Lucy squirmed before he looked back at Darren. "Care to give me some pointers?"

"Sure thing," Darren said with a dark grin down at Lucy. "Come with us. I'll show you."

She trembled when he turned her back toward the hotel. She was sure everyone in town could hear her soul screaming when Cobra fell in step on her other side. She'd forgotten that the one who could hear just that, was walking beside her.

* * *

"Take a seat, Lucy." She stood beside the closed door, rubbing at the handprint on her arm with her head lowered. "Be a good hostess, just like I taught you."

Millipedes wriggling under her flesh would have been better than the feeling she had at those words. She didn't like thinking about the times Darren had invited his friends over to his apartment and made her entertain them. Still, she walked across the carpet and stared at her dirty feet until she came to a stop right in front of Cobra. She hesitated.

"Well sit down already," Cobra spat. He grabbed just above where Darren had been twisting earlier and yanked her down sideways onto his lap. She didn't want to be there. She didn't want to breathe in the heady scent of woods and some dark spice drifting from beneath the fur lining of his jacket. She didn't want his hand to slide across her bare lower back and settle on her hip. "She still needs some work."

Darren sat across from them at the small table, resting his head on one fist. "I haven't done this with her much," he said. "I prefer keeping her to myself most times."

"I understand. Thanks for the opportunity, though."

"Well, I assume you already know what she's like." Darren smirked and let his eyes rake over her. _'Quite the temptress. She was so ready to take it off after our third date.'_

"She made me wait until the third date," Cobra said. His hand slid up to her waist and his thumb barely brushed the underside of her breast. He chuckled when Lucy shied away from his hand, further into his embrace. "Definitely worth it."

"We should have some drinks though," Darren said. "I feel like I know you from somewhere."

"Maybe you do," Cobra shrugged. He leaned closer to her and lightly nipped at her shoulder. "Drinks sound good."

Lucy watched Darren walk out of the room, closing her eyes to keep from vomiting when Cobra's lips brushed against her pounding pulse. Darren stopped, and she could _feel_ him watching them.

"Don't have too much fun," Darren said. To anyone else, it may have sounded like he was joking. Lucy knew the truth though. He'd threatened her enough times before for her to pick it up. That small change in his voice at the end of the sentence. He left the room, and her heart picked up in speed when Cobra inhaled against her ear.

"Go to the bathroom," Cobra whispered. "Take a shower. A long one." Before she could ask why, he continued. "Don't come out until I knock."

She really did want to know what the hell was going on though. Why he was saying that to her in the first place. His teeth scraped against her earring, and she forced herself to stay still instead of cringing away from his touch. By that point, her natural reaction to someone touching her was to try and escape. It was exhausting trying to keep it hidden from everyone though.

"He wants to watch me fuck you," Cobra whispered. "Then he'll kill you. You picked a fucking winner. Be glad I showed up..."

"Cobra…"

"Don't say a word," he rasped, planting gentle kisses down her throat to her collar bone. "Not a peep, understand?"

Of course she understood that.

"Good. Swear you won't come out until I knock. Two fast, break, two slow. Understand?"

What the hell was he planning on doing though? Why did she need to take a shower? Why was he going to knock, and why couldn't she come out before then?

"Trust me," he said softly, drawing back a little when she looked right into his eye. His nose brushed against hers and his free hand lifted to push into her hair. "I can make this easier for you, though. Kiss me once, and you won't mind a thing."

Kiss him? Hell no, she wasn't going to kiss him. She didn't even know him. Cobra's thumb brushed over the shell of her ear then down to her cheek, and she found herself trembling. How was he going to-

"Choose now. Just trust me." He moved closer, his lips barely grazing hers. Her bones quaked when his teeth lightly pricked her lower lip. Could she trust him? She honestly didn't know, but she could hear Darren rinsing out glasses in the little kitchen they had. He would be getting another bottle of wine soon and then her chance would be gone.

Was Cobra really going to help her?

"I'll set you free." His words were hardly more than a breath, but when she inhaled on a sharp gasp, her brows furrowed at the sickly sweet taste of his breath she'd pulled in. Was he going to poison her? Put her out of her misery, maybe? That seemed like a Cobra thing to do.

She didn't even need to tell him yes. He seemed to know that she was a coward and wanted the easy way out. He'd said she wouldn't mind it when he helped her. Whatever that meant. But between one moment and the next his lips were on hers and his tongue had speared into her mouth. She didn't really try to kiss him back though. She just wasn't interested in a whole lot of anything concerning a man touching her.

Darren came back into the main room and before she could try to pull away, Cobra grabbed her hair at the roots and forcefully canted her head to one side to deepen the kiss. She whimpered and tried to push him away, grabbed at the collar of his shirt. And then she tasted it. The poison. Darren was watching her kiss another man, and he was going to force her to fuck Cobra before killing her. Was this making him angrier? She really didn't care. Not when she finally forced herself to melt into the kiss, to quite literally suck the poison from Cobra's tongue. With each passing second, she drifted further away from the hotel. Her body may have been in that room, on Cobra's lap, but her hands felt heavy and numb. It slowly spread up the length of her arms, from her toes to her hips and higher still until there was nothing left of her but an odd buzzing sensation centered between her eyes.

"I'm starting to think you should have taken a little more time with her before," Darren said, slamming the glasses down on the little table.

Cobra groaned while her hands sifted through his hair, and finally pulled away from her lips. Lucy's head dropped to his throat and she unknowingly pressed soft kisses up to his jaw while he looked at Darren. "Maybe I should've," he said with a challenging smirk. After a moment, he pulled her back and looked into her dull, heavy-lidded honey eyes. "Go get cleaned up."

She nodded and slowly stood, then wandered off toward the bathroom in a haze. She hadn't realized her cheeks were flaming until Cobra was no longer holding onto her, but Lucy completely ignored Darren while walking out of the room. She couldn't turn on the shower right away though. She pressed herself flush against the door and listened to what was going on now that she was gone.

"_... told her… shower…"_ she could hear Cobra saying.

Darren didn't come to the bathroom, and he didn't raise his voice. All that was left for her to do was turn on the faucet and clean herself off. Slowly, apparently. According to Cobra, she needed to take her sweet time in the bathroom. She could do that. It worried her a little that whatever poison Cobra had given her seemed to be wearing off when she looked down at her feet. Utterly filthy. She set the shower to scalding and removed her clothes. She avoided looking at her reflection while passing the mirror.

Their voices barely made it past the door with the shower running, but that didn't matter. Not when she was alone in the bathroom, away from the men out there. She bent down to grab the clean towel she'd hidden under Darren's wet ones from earlier, then hung it on the rack inside the shower.

As soon as her foot touched the warmed tile, she heard a loud thud through the wall. Harsh curses were quickly followed by a bloodcurdling scream.

Lucy stepped under the shower's spray and wet her hair. She took her time lathering shampoo, rinsing, repeating.

"_Please, no! Stop this!"_

She added conditioner. Was that Darren?

"_Lucy, help me! Help! Oh god, what are you doing to me?!"_

The first of her tears fell while pouring body wash onto a cloth, but the odd numbness came back and she was blissfully unaware that she was crying at all. She scrubbed her chest.

"_No! Who the hell are you?! Oh god, no!"_

Lucy scrubbed her breasts and stomach and arms. Slow circles, making sure to really exfoliate. It had been a while since she'd taken the time to do that.

"_I didn't mean it, I swear! I love her! I really do love her!"_

She put down the cloth to shave under her arms. Just before the razor touched her skin, a loud bang of something heavy against the bathroom door made her jump. With half-lidded eyes, she peeked out of the shower and stared listlessly at the closed door.

"_Lucy, I'm so sorry! I never should have hurt you! Make him stop!"_

Part of her knew that she should go out there and tell Cobra to stop. She should be reporting Darren to the Rune Knights for abusing her. The marks on her wrists from that day alone were telling enough. She had pictures back at home, kept with Virgo at the spirit's insistence, of every bruise and cut he'd left on her in the past five months.

_"She's not answering you,"_ Cobra laughed. _"Guess she doesn't want me to stop."_

Five months…

"_She'll answer! Tell him to stop! NO! No, she'll answer! Don't do it!"_

Darren had said five months when talking to Cobra. When he'd been talking about keeping her in line. For five months, that's what he'd seen it as. Conditioning her to be just what he wanted. Complacent. Scared. Unwilling to try and get away from him.

"_Lucy, you bitch! Answer me! This psycho has a fucking knife to my throat! Are you really going to stay in there and-"_

That was all she was to Darren. A piece of meat.

Well, fuck him.

Lucy brought her head back into the shower and lifted the razor to her flesh. She slowly started to shave.

"_Goddamnit, you stupid fucking whore! He's… He's taking the knife away and… No, don't put it there. Please! Lucy! Lucy, tell him to stop!"_

"_Up the ass, it goes, motherfucker."_

Another bloodcurdling scream ricocheted through the door and into the bathroom.

"_God, please… N-No, I don't… Don't twist it! Oh fuck! Lucy, help me!"_

"Serves you right," she sighed, picking up the cloth again.

Shaving between her legs was next. Then shaving her legs. She found it easier than it probably should have been to drown out Darren's screams in the next room. Especially when Cobra dragged him away from the bathroom door. He was still screaming when she washed the conditioner out and turned off the water. She peeked out and saw that the door was still closed, still barring her from the horrors that were taking place just on the other side.

"_Y-Yes sir! I'll be a good boy. Please don't cut more off… Please, sir! No! Not that! Not my di-"_

She turned around and set the plug in the drain, then filled the bath while Darren screamed even louder than before. She really didn't even want to know what was happening to him. Just knowing that Cobra was handling it, oddly enough, made her not care how it was done. She turned off the faucet and settled herself into the bath, then dipped her head beneath the water.

She stayed there for as long as her breath would allow. By the time she surfaced, Darren was quiet. Everything was quiet.

But Cobra had told her not to open the door until he knocked. Two short knocks and a pause, then two more. That was what she had to wait for.

* * *

She woke up to the sound of the door splintering and giving way. Lucy bolted upright in the bath, shivering when she felt how cold the water had gotten. It wasn't until two Rune Knights stormed into the bathroom that she realized she was completely naked, and they were getting an eyeful of her bare chest. Except her brain just wasn't functioning all that quickly. Sleep had a tendency to do that to her.

"She's alive!" one Knight called back as he and his partner turned their backs to her. "And in the bath."

Lucy looked down at her chest, and when her brain finally caught up, she squeaked and pulled the plug in the drain. She stood and wrapped her towel around herself, then stepped out of the tub. "What are you doing here?" she asked slowly. Why did she feel so strange? Why was her head so clouded? They didn't turn to look back at her. Lucy waited though, because she really wasn't sure what the hell she was supposed to do with Rune Knights just… standing there.

"Miss Heartfilia?"

"Yeah…?"

"We, um…" He paused when another Knight rushed out of the hotel room and vomited in the hallway.

"It's a bloodbath," the other whispered.

"Bloodbath?" Lucy asked, her eyes widening when they turned toward her. "What is?"

"Miss Heartfilia, we need to know your whereabouts for the past three hours," the first Knight said.

"We received a complaint," said the second. "Screams coming from this room. At first we thought it was just… You know…"

"Loud sex," Lucy supplied absently. Did they say a bloodbath? Why would there be a bloodbath?

"Yes," the first said. "But more calls came in, and when we knocked, there was no answer. You see…"

"Where's Darren?" Lucy asked. "I fell asleep in the tub. Where is he?"

The Knights shared a look between them that spoke louder than anything they could have said. Finally the second Knight looked at her again. "You… didn't hear anything?"

"I'm a heavy sleeper," she said. "Where's my boyfriend?" They didn't answer her, but Lucy had a feeling she was going to be ashamed of being happy over the truth. It was all pretty hazy for her before she took a bath. The fact that she'd taken a bath in the first place was odd, since Darren never let her take them anymore. Lucy stumbled through the small bathroom and pushed the Knights out of the way. She ignored their frantic voices telling her not to look at the bed. She needed to see it for herself. No matter how gruesome, Lucy needed to know. What had happened to Darren?

She paused in the mouth of the hallway, staring at the blood-smeared walls, the overturned table Darren ate his dinner at. She took in every detail while scanning the room. Vomit in the corner. Hand prints swiping over the walls and a large crimson pool on the floor around the bed. There were splashes of partially digested food here and there. Was that actual feces on the broken bedpost on the floor? If so, why the hell was there blood on it as well?

Darren was on the bed though. Well, the parts of him that were left. He'd been disemboweled and dismembered. She wasn't sure which parts were which as she stared at the mound of flesh and viscera and bone in the middle of the bed. His intestines were set up like a macabre string of Christmas lights over the headboard, surrounding a message written in blood with the torn flesh of his face, smiling just beneath it.

_Abusive pricks have to face the music._

A fucking pun. If it wasn't so disgusting, Lucy was sure she would have laughed over the ludicrous timing for such a bad joke.

Instead, she let her body take over as she inhaled the putrid stench in the air. A hand flew to her mouth and she whirled in place, then dashed back into the bathroom. She only made it to the sink before she threw up the entirety of a dinner she didn't remember eating.

* * *

After days of questioning and filling out reports - ranging from what had happened in the hotel room to explaining why there were bruises on her arms and ribs, to explaining that she hadn't killed her boyfriend because he beat her and admitting that he did, in fact, beat her often - and talking to people in the guild who wanted to console her over Darren's death, Lucy was finally alone in her apartment. She hadn't even had time to unpack her bag from the trip.

Her spirits were both elated by the news that Darren wouldn't be around any longer, and appalled when they found out what had happened. There was no point in lying to them about it. Out of all her spirits, the one she'd least expected to be understanding of her choice was Capricorn. Except all he'd done was hug her tightly and refuse to let her go, whispering again and again that he was only glad she was safe.

Because when she'd been away from the Rune Knights, a quick flash of a memory had come back to her, spiralling larger and larger until she could at least recall kissing Cobra and him saying that he'd set her free.

She let out a quiet sigh while picking her bag up from the corner and setting it on her bed. She was halfway through pulling things out and sorting her dirty clothes and toiletries when she found something that shouldn't have been there. An odd piece of paper sat crumpled between two of her shirts, and she carefully plucked it from the bag. Something brownish-red was smeared across parts of it, but she unfolded the paper anyway. As she read the words written on the page, Lucy slowly sat down on the bed, lost to the world around her.

_Lucky Duck Heartfilia,_

_I know you'll come up with something, and that I don't have to worry about Knights breathing down my neck. Probably because you won't remember that I did this until after you've talked to them. Thanks for that. Consider this my official apology for trying to kill you. Congratulations! you're on the short list of people I've apologized to._

_Don't beat yourself up over this, and don't feel guilty about your choice. The blood is on my hands. Literally. I could have just as easily knocked him out, and gotten you out of there. But I felt like killing someone. Jellal doesn't let me kill people, because he's an uptight fucking twat._

_Also, a piece of advice… If a man makes you uncomfortable on the first date, don't brush it off and go for a second. Besides, this shitbox had no sense of humor. I checked, but he didn't have a stick up his ass. There's a knife there now, though. Serrated for His Pleasure._

_Ah, I crack me up._

_Wait… Okay, I'm back. He woke up. I can't even remember the last time I sodomized some prick with anything larger than a knife. Good times, seriously. I pity that bedpost though. __I'm not finished with him yet, but this is gonna get messy. I just wanted you to know what I already wrote. About the apology thing. And the advice thing._

_Oh, and one more thing. Don't be like me and keep everyone at arm's length. That's not who you are. Hug it out and get all those kumba-ya-ya's out and shit. Dance in fucking Fairy dust or whatever the hell it is you bubblegum freaks do in that happy-happy, snuggle-fucking guild of yours. He'll be gone forever, so don't let him hold you back, alright?_

_All the best. - Cobra_

She couldn't stop staring at the paper in her hands. She couldn't stop reading over the words again and again from the Poison Dragon Slayer. She didn't notice the bloody fingerprints on the edges of the page any longer. Lucy had a feeling she should have been freaked out that the man who'd saved her from just being another statistic had also killed Darren. That he was expecting her to make a believable alibi so he wouldn't get caught.

That he'd sodomized her now-deceased ex with a knife, and then a bedpost larger than her own fist. That was just disgusting.

There was a lot that should have most likely made her run back to the Rune Knights, screaming and hollering that she had hard evidence on the one responsible for Darren's death. But she was just too busy staring at his beautiful penmanship. Who would have thought Cobra would write so elegantly? Those were some of the most beautifully written _fucks _and _shits_ she'd ever seen.

Besides, he'd saved her life. This was his apology for the past they shared. For his attempt at trying to kill her.

Cobra, the Poison Dragon Slayer, had saved her life.

She couldn't turn him in.

* * *

Miles away from Magnolia, a group of seven mages clad in blue cloaks walked through a shaded forest. Cobra opened his eye and smiled down at the ground, a secretive little turn to his lips, when he heard her.

'_I wonder if I'll ever see him again…'_

She was an odd fucking duck - that was for sure - but it was the first time he could remember someone wanting to thank him for slaughtering a person.

He guessed he could get used to that.

She was shit out of luck though. No way in hell was he going to get sucked into the crazy bullshit that was her Fairy Tail life. Maybe in some alternate universe, he could go and meet up with her and maybe something would happen between them. But this was the real world, and he knew shit like that was never meant to be.

So, Cobra kept walking with Crime Sorciere, each step taking him further from the blonde Celestial mage who was already hoping he could hear her thoughts from wherever he was.

"_Thank you, Cobra."_ He could hear her crying while she burned the letter he'd written her, to get rid of any evidence. Smart fucking cookie, too. But her tears were happy ones. _"Thank you."_


	2. CoLu Week 2019, Day 3: Foamy

**A/N: So, I know that this story had a nice, definitive **_**The End**_** on the last chapter when I posted it back in 2017. But then this year's CoLu Week had to go and be different. I wanted to add chapters to my existing CoLu stories. Every time I looked at this prompt, then at all of my existing CoLu stories, I kept thinking of Lucy being in the bath while her boyfriend was being murdered. Needless to say, the image stuck with me, and here we are.**

**I hope this is a breath of fresh air for you guys, and that there are at least a few of you who stuck around with me who wanted to see another chapter for this!**

* * *

**CoLu Week 2019  
Day 3**_**  
Foamy**_

* * *

The next time she saw Cobra, two years had come and gone. Lucy had heard the news from Erza that Crime Sorciere had been pardoned of all their crimes by the crown, so their meeting wasn't completely by chance, or something clandestine. She realized that after the fact.

But seeing Cobra standing with his guild in a little hotel with an attached hot spring was the last place Lucy had expected to find him. She was even more surprised to learn that Crime Sorciere was also staying at this hotel that her team had come to after a long mission.

"Funny seeing you here," Gray chuckled, looking at Sorano. "Didn't we just get rid of you guys?"

Lucy frowned at that. What was he talking about? When they'd been taking out that dark guild, no one else had been there. She hadn't seen anyone from Crime Sorciere.

"Please," Sorano scoffed, "You should be thanking us for saving your skin back there."

"Yeah, right," Natsu laughed. "We totally kicked more butt than you guys!"

Lucy's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Had Natsu seen them too? Where could this have possibly happened? When she thought back to the mission, maybe it was that time that she'd been separated from the rest of the team. A mage had tried to run off, and Lucy pursued him. By the time she'd gotten to him, he'd keeled over and died. She'd thought nothing of it, since he was on the older side, so maybe he'd just had a heart attack or something. Was that when Crime Sorciere had made their appearance?

Her gaze slid over to Cobra, whose eyes were closed where he stood next to Macbeth. That was one way of ignoring someone, she supposed.

But seeing him like this… Something dark and twisted rippled through her stomach. For the past two years, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. About how he'd saved her from Darren's controlling ways. How Cobra had saved her life. Every time she took a bath, she thought of the Poison Dragon Slayer who had used his poisoned kiss to save her from being a direct accomplice to her abusive boyfriend's homicide. She was still an accessory to murder, she knew, but no one had questioned her about it since those few months after Darren's death.

She still thought about how gruesome the hotel room had been when the Rune Knights showed up.

Sometimes, when she fell asleep in the bath and the bubbles foamed up and tickled her nose until she woke, Lucy thought she'd find Cobra standing there. Looking down at her. Holding Darren's intestines in his hands just before stringing them up on the wall. What threw her for a loop was that, in those strange moments of not-quite-consciousness, she was happy to see him covered in blood and looking at her. She was happy to have him there, even though he wouldn't smile at her, and even though he looked just a little deranged.

But when she fully woke up, the feeling would pass and she was right back to where she'd started. A shell. A broken, lonely shell who couldn't even bring herself to let a man take her on a date for fear of repeating the hell she'd gone through with Darren.

At least her team knew better than to pry on the matter. Natsu and Gray never asked her about her love life in the first place, and Erza assumed that she was still mourning her loss. Happy was oddly silent on the matter of her not dating, too, which was just a little weird. She would've thought that the preciously obnoxious Exceed would enjoy teasing her about lacking in the man department. But maybe he just didn't know how to do it, since her last boyfriend had been murdered.

"Lucy, let's get settled and head to the hot spring," Erza said. She jumped at the sudden touch on her wrist, but no one noticed it. Luckily, Lucy reminded herself that it was only Erza, and that her friend wouldn't hurt her. She buried her unease and turned away from Natsu, Gray, and Happy who were still chatting with Crime Sorciere.

She didn't notice the way Cobra's eye slid open and tracked her movements until she'd turned the corner, or how his shoulders relaxed as soon as she was out of sight.

* * *

That night, Lucy woke with a jolt. The moon sat high above, and Erza was fast asleep on the futon next to her. But the dream she'd been having - no the _nightmare_ had been about Darren. As she tried to calm her breathing and swipe the sweat from her brow, she kept picturing him just the way he'd been before. And how docile she'd been. It had been two years! She shouldn't be thinking about him anymore!

He was dead, and there was no way he could come back to hurt her again, and still… She couldn't stop remembering what it was like to have his hand gripping her hair at the roots and dragging her closer to him so he could kiss her. She couldn't help but picture how he'd invited his friends over and made her kneel in front of them and…

Bile rose quickly in her throat and she tossed the blanket away from her, then scrambled to her feet. There was no thought to being quiet for Erza's sake. In all honesty, Lucy forgot that she wasn't sleeping by herself as she rushed out of the room in nothing more than the yukata provided by the hotel. Hot shame washed over her just as quickly as her hand lifted to cover her mouth. She wasn't going to throw up. Not inside. Not where someone might find her doing it.

Not where someone might get mad at her and make her clean it up.

Cool stones touched her feet as she made it out to the hot spring. Odd. She'd gotten so mixed up earlier that she hadn't been able to figure out which way would lead to her room. How had she made it here on autopilot? It didn't matter all that much, though. Because her legs kept moving, taking her around the edge of the steaming water to the far side where no one could easily spot her. She wanted to stay hidden. She didn't want anyone to know this was happening to her.

But the fear kept coiling in her gut, tightening her shoulders and neck as though she was trying to turn into a goddamn turtle and hide away from the world forever.

And maybe that's what she really did want, after all.

As her knees shook so intensely that she collapsed in a graceless pile on the hard stone, Lucy believed it was for the best. No one needed her around. She could disappear. That would be alright. Sure, her team might miss her for a little while, but they'd get over it. It's not like she really contributed all that much to them anyway.

And she'd found out from Erza that they'd all kept Crime Sorciere showing up during the mission from her. Erza hadn't been able to really articulate why, but they'd come to the agreement before Lucy showed back up that they just wouldn't tell her. Lucy had shrugged it off at the time. She hadn't wanted Erza to worry. But now? When she was all alone? It hurt. It hurt that they hadn't trusted her with something as trivial as another group of mages showing up to help on their mission. What else did they keep from her?

On her next shaky inhale, Lucy smelled smoke. It wasn't thick, and she couldn't smell any wood burning anywhere, but it was there. Tears broke past her lashes as she looked around. It didn't take long to see where the smoke was coming from - more like _who_.

Cobra sat less than three feet from where she'd collapsed, wearing one of the hotel's yukatas for the hot springs with his legs submerged in the steaming water from the knee down. A half-smoked cigarette sat perched delicately between his index and middle finger. She watched as his hand lifted to his thin lips. Lips she'd kissed only once that closed gently around the filter as he inhaled. And when he breathed out again, there was light grey smoke there instead of the poison he'd breathed into her the night he'd set her free.

This wasn't good. The last person she wanted around during her breakdown was Cobra. He could hear it. Everything she kept to herself, the agonized cries her soul let out that she refused to vocalize, the pain and loneliness she'd been trapped with for years. She didn't want him to hear it.

"Too late for that," he said. Cobra glanced at her, then hesitated before patting the space next to him. "Come sit with me."

Her body moved before she'd decided whether to go along with what he'd said. She ignored how her knees scraped across the stone while crawling closer, then shifted and let her legs slip into the water. The heat was too intense, and she hissed at the sudden sting on her calves. Lucy bit her lips and closed her eyes against the pain.

Cobra took another drag of his cigarette as they sat beside one another in complete silence. It stretched on until he leaned forward to scoop a small handful of water onto the stone next to him, then put the cigarette out with a quiet _tss_. Lucy was overly aware of the sound of burnt tobacco being crushed.

"It's healthy to get it out, y'know," he said, drawing her attention to his face. She hadn't realized that she'd sat down on his right side, so he couldn't see her unless his head turned. Except he didn't turn to look back at her. She couldn't tell whether he was looking out across the water and toward the hotel, or if his eye was closed, or maybe if he was looking at something else. "I don't really wanna hear it. I get enough of that bullshit from people's souls, so I don't need you crying right next to me."

Lucy's eyes widened, her hands shooting up to swipe roughly at her cheeks. She hadn't realized she was crying, but the proof was there, and the last thing she wanted was for Cobra to be uncomfortable. She yelped when his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, dragging it away from her face. She took a chance to glance at him, only to find him finally looking at her - more like glaring down at her.

Cobra put a cigarette between his lips, then lit it with a silver lighter that glinted in the moonlight. The flame danced and made his indigo eye burn as he stared at her. Lucy flinched when he flicked the lighter shut with a sharp snap.

"L-Let go," she whimpered.

Cobra inhaled and pulled the cigarette from between his lips, then breathed the smoke out of his nose. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

He vaguely gestured in her direction, but didn't let go of her wrist. "You try to fit into this fucking mold that everyone has for you," he said. "If you make me uncomfortable, so the fuck what?"

Her brows pushed together in confusion, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to find some response. She trembled when his grip on her wrist tightened slightly. "I-I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"But you need to get shit off your chest," he shot back. She fought not to scrunch her nose when he breathed smoke in her direction. "Tell me why my feelings mean more than yours."

"I-I… Well, I just-"

Cobra's eye narrowed and he pushed her hand to the ground so he could lean a little closer. Lucy leaned back slightly to keep the distance between them. "Not to sound like a dick, all things considered, but you can't move on from being a victim of domestic violence if you treat yourself worse than your abuser treated you."

The words were a sucker punch to the gut, worse than anything Darren had ever done to her. "I'm not," she breathed.

"He conditioned you to put yourself second to him," Cobra countered. "He reinforced ideals that _you_ actively left behind, and you _let him_ fucking do it." He sneered as his gaze weighed down upon her. It left her feeling as though there was no air to breathe, only what Cobra allowed her to have. God, she hadn't felt like this in so long. She'd thought this would never happen again, and yet… Here she was. Stuck in the same loop. "It was stupid as hell, giving up control of your life like that."

Her lips trembled. She tried to fight the burning in her eyes, but it was no use. She wasn't a fighter. She claimed that she was, but she was just weak. Useless. Even Cobra could see it, and he barely knew her.

His grip on her wrist lessened, then disappeared entirely. She hoped for a brief moment that he would leave it at that. But then his fingers brushed through her hair and held her head in place. And then he was leaning closer.

She couldn't move. She couldn't stop it. Lucy knew that. She wasn't strong enough to fight him off.

Her tears dripped down her cheeks as his forehead rested gently against hers. His eye closed and he breathed out a soft sigh that smelled of cigarettes and tea. "No one is better than you, Lucy," he whispered. "No one can _own you_ or treat you like a fucking animal."

Her breath caught in her throat. What was she supposed to say to that? It almost didn't sound like he was talking to her, but he'd said her name. She'd honestly thought he didn't remember it.

"I heard your soul screaming for five months," he whispered. "I heard how it cried… begged that asshole to stop. I _heard_ you, no matter how fucking far away I was, because your soul screamed just like that when you were in the Clock. I remembered it, and your soul's the only one that's screamed like that and survived…"

"I-I'm sorry."

Cobra scoffed and pulled back enough for her to see his whole face as he looked into her eyes. "I told myself when I heard you burning the letter I wrote, that was it. I wouldn't see you again, and if I did… we wouldn't talk about this."

"I told myself that I wouldn't be afraid anymore," she said, glancing at the water again. He was too close. "Guess we're both liars."

He was silent after that, and she chanced another quick look at his face. His eye was closed again. Did that mean he was listening to her soul? Was he hearing that she was terrified of ever opening herself up to another person, of being hurt the way Darren had hurt her? Did he know that she didn't think she could ever be with someone again because Darren had made her never want to be touched?

Did Cobra hear the secret wish deep in her soul for someone to just love her the way she'd love them?

Or maybe he was hearing it all, and thinking she was pathetic for being so obsessed with her love life. Maybe he was trying to ignore all of her whining, because honestly… even Lucy was getting tired of _feeling_ it. It was exhausting, always being on guard, looking for the red flags that meant someone would try to deceive her. She'd been so optimistic before, but now the signs were everywhere. In every interaction. She had to constantly remind herself that her own teammates weren't trying to hurt her. They had her best interests in mind.

Finally Cobra smirked and opened his eye. "They call me Cobra for a reason," he said. "What's your excuse?"

Oddly enough, imagining Cobra getting the name because he was a liar made her laugh. It wasn't enough to bend her in half and make her sides ache, but the quick, surprised shot of air that burst past her gently curved lips was a balm she hadn't known she'd needed.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd really laughed.

"I haven't a clue," she said. "I'm just a chickenshit, I suppose."

Lucy rarely cursed. She didn't see the point in it, but Cobra's eye lit up with curiosity when she'd said that. The feeling was… nice. To be able to surprise someone who could read your very soul. She kind of wanted to do it again.

Cobra leaned back to a normal sitting position - had she really forgotten for a brief time that he was seriously encroaching on her personal bubble? - and his hand dropped from her hair. She didn't stare at him though, and instead turned her attention to the way her legs lightly kicked back and forth in the steaming water. Now that she was more used to it, it was pretty relaxing. She was almost tempted to get in completely.

Even though the onsen was completely co-ed, and they allowed swimsuits for those who were more reserved about nudity, Lucy didn't want to do it with Cobra there. She barely knew him. And getting naked right in front of him, and then sitting there with him still wearing clothes, would be weird. It would be even worse if he got in as well. Then they'd both be naked. It had been a chore just to let Erza see her naked earlier when they'd gone for a soak on one side of the spring - far away from where Gray and Natsu were, thankfully.

Lucy hated this. She'd been confident before. Now she questioned everything about herself. She wasn't sure what had her asking him what she did next. It wasn't like Cobra had all the answers tucked away in his head, regardless of how much he could hear in a person's soul. Still, he was the only one aside from her spirits who knew what she'd gone through.

"Do you think it'll ever get better?"

Cobra crushed his cigarette in the small puddle he'd made. She could feel the flow of water as he mimicked her and kicked his legs back and forth in the water. He didn't answer right away. Finally, he whispered, "I can't really say… Maybe you'll be alright one day. Maybe not. Guess it depends on how you cope."

Lucy huffed out a heavy breath, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "Not the answer I was looking for," she muttered. All she'd wanted was some reassurance that she wouldn't be a broken mess for the rest of her life. He couldn't give that to her though, and she did slightly appreciate his honesty in the matter. At least she knew he wasn't going to placate her with half-truths just to make her feel better… even if she needed it.

Cobra smirked once more as he turned his head toward her. He leaned back on his hands, baring a small sliver of the skin on his chest as his yukata slipped open only slightly. Lucy only noticed it in her peripherals, far too focused on his single eye and the way the moonlight seemed to make it glow. "Don't expect me to sugarcoat shit for you just because you're cute."

The empty space in her chest wrenched itself with unease at the word _cute_. Darren had called her cute when they'd first started dating. When he'd been grooming her to be the submissive little plaything he'd wanted. Lucy wasn't cute. That had become a dirty thing, something gross and vile that wriggled under her skin and reminded her of bruised wrists and biting the inside of her cheek when he slapped her too hard.

She didn't say any of that to Cobra though. She just smiled at him the way she used to when someone complimented her, the way she was supposed to. Lucy used to like being called cute, and it used to bring a genuine smile to her lips. Not anymore… but Cobra didn't have to know that.

"Can I give you another piece of advice?" he asked. She didn't have time to nod. "Speak up." Her eyes widened when he stood and fiddled with the tie on his yukata. Her breath caught on a startled gasp when he loosened it, turning so his back was facing her a little more. "You'll find things about yourself that have changed."

She already knew things had changed.

Cobra opened his yukata and it slid down his arms. She couldn't stop staring though, especially not when she saw the crosshatched clusters of scars on his back, reaching from the nape of his neck down to the dimples just above his ass. "And that's okay," he continued. "You're gonna realize there are people who will and won't respect your boundaries."

What did he mean by that? That she was supposed to set boundaries for people and expect them to just abide by those?

Cobra sank into the water, tossing his yukata onto the stone flooring beside her once his hips were submerged. He took a step away and turned toward her. Lucy's eyes never traveled past his chin. "And if they won't respect those boundaries, then you have complete control over whether or not they're in your life. Does that make sense?"

Not really. Not right away, at least. But when she considered how quickly she'd tried to redirect her own behavior when Cobra mentioned that he didn't want to hear her crying next to him… He'd told her what he expected, one of his own boundaries (so to speak), and he could have told her to leave if she was going to keep it up. But because she'd tried to stop, to accommodate him, he hadn't turned her away.

"I-I think so," she said. The more she thought about it, the more it really did make sense. She'd done that with her own father, once upon a time. She'd cut him out of her life because she was determined to live it the way she wanted. It seemed like such a long time ago that she'd had the courage to stick up for what she really wanted. Lucy had been a stronger person then. A braver person.

"Good," he said. "Now, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna soak for a bit."

"How come you didn't do it before?"

He chuckled, and the sound caught her off guard. It was soft, not just in volume but in the way it rippled through the air, almost fond as it finally reached her. "Can't smoke and soak," he said while sitting on the submerged seating less than a foot from her still-kicking legs. His head leaned back on the stone so he could look up at her. "Onsen rules."

"You know how to follow rules?" she teased.

Cobra actually had the gall to pretend he was offended, however briefly, before he smiled in that devious way of his. "I've been known to abide by the rules… from time to time."

Lucy rolled her eyes at him. Another soak did sound nice. It would help her relax before going back to the room she shared with Erza, and finally getting some much needed sleep. But then it would just be her and Cobra, in the water. All alone. With both of their teams sleeping the night away. Completely unaware of what she was doing.

Just the thought had chills running down her spine. So many things could go wrong.

But he was offering to spend this time with her, and if she said no...

"I won't be offended if you decline," he said. "I just know that this is gonna help me fall asleep. Figured it'd probably help you, too."

She knew for a fact he'd read that from her soul. He'd done something similar when he'd been tricking Darren into believing that he was actually Lucy's ex-boyfriend, by saying that she'd slept with him after the third date when they'd never dated to begin with.

"Also, Midnight's awake," he continued. "He's sitting in the room keeping watch - paranoid fuck that he is." She followed his hand as he pointed toward where she assumed Crime Sorciere was sleeping, then blinked in surprise when she noticed through a small partition in the blinds a familiar head of white and black hair moving from around.

"Keeping watch for what?"

"Monsters that go bump in the night," he chuckled.

Lucy bit her lip and looked from the window, back to Cobra. His eye closed and he let out a slow, relaxed breath. Was he doing that so she would be more comfortable? If he couldn't see her, then she could take off her own yukata without worrying about him seeing anything. She could slip into the water, and he wouldn't look until it was safe.

"No peeking," she warned.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said with a smirk, turning his head to the left for good measure. Well now he definitely couldn't see her. "I've seen what you can do with those demon kicks of yours."

Another quiet laugh escaped as she untied her yukata. Just before opening it, she peered back toward the room Midnight and the other Crime Sorciere members were in, then shook her head. Like hell would someone be peeping at this time of night. Lucy bit her lips and let the fabric fall open, then slid down into the water and reached up to fix the messy bun her hair had been tied into.

"You good?"

Lucy hummed while crossing her arms over her chest. Cobra's head turned until he was able to look up at the stars above them. It took a few minutes, but eventually she forced herself to mimic him - leaning her head back against the stone behind them and looking up at the night sky. If she stayed like this long enough, she would relax. The stars were definitely helping.

Time ticked on by, and she was unaware of how much of it passed before Cobra spoke again.

"If you really don't like it, then I won't call you cute again," he whispered.

Her eyes closed and she smiled. "Thank you, Cobra," she said. "Maybe you'll be able to call me cute some day."

"I look forward to it," he chuckled.

She had to have faith that one day, she'd feel more like herself. One day, it wouldn't bother her to have someone compliment her. Not that day, and maybe not even that month or year. And if it never happened, then she wouldn't lose sleep over it. So things had changed. At the very least, she'd been able to have some kind of conversation with the man who'd saved her.

They weren't friends by any stretch of the imagination, but this was a whole lot closer to those strange times where she sat in her tub, surrounded by bubbles, and imagined the Poison Dragon Slayer was there with her. The warmth was the same, and his soft voice as their barely-there conversation continued in sporadic chunks. It was familiar, only because of her imagination, and still… it was enough for her.

There was comfort here in the hot springs with Cobra by her side. Comfort she couldn't remember having felt in a very long time.

It wouldn't dawn on her until the next day that he never asked why she was running in the middle of the night, or why she'd cried, and that he hadn't forced her to talk about what had happened with Darren. And it would be even longer before she found out why he'd been sitting at the spring in the first place, and why he'd offered her advice when his natural inclination was to tell people to fuck off and die.

* * *

**And that's it for this chapter! I had a lot more planned for this story, so I've moved things around a bit. We'll be coming back here on Day 5 for more of this little universe.**

**To those of you who wanted more from this universe two years ago when I first posted it, I hope you've enjoyed it so far. I'd never planned on returning to this and adding more to it, but… well, we see how that turned out. That being said, the next time I write "The End" on this particular story, that really will be the end of it. Because there's something I have in mind for a perfect ending, and I have to see it come to fruition now.**

**Regardless, I hope you all enjoyed today. The next prompt for CoLu Week 2019 is "Sweater" and… it'll be a surprise on where it shows up. I haven't started writing it just yet, so you may have to wait until the weekend for it… God, I hope not.**


	3. CoLu Week 2019: Day 5, Windy

**A/N: So I kind of figured this one would be late, since I started writing it a couple hours after posting the latest **_**Poison Fairy **_**chapter. I'm **_**very **_**surprised I was able to get this shit done! Then again, the chapter's only 4k, so that's probably why...**

**Anyway, let's get on with the story!**

* * *

**CoLu Week 2019  
Day 5  
**_**Windy**_

* * *

The months following her little dip in the hot spring with Cobra had Lucy feeling a little more like herself. She wasn't sure just what it was, but something had changed for her. She smiled a little more easily. She reminded herself that it was okay to have her own opinions, and the one day where she'd blown up at Natsu over something as trivial as saying she was weird and ended up crying had been oddly cathartic. She hadn't flinched when her best friend hugged her and apologized for making her sad.

She was sure it had everything to do with the fact that he'd apologized for _causing_ her to feel a certain way, and not blaming her for being defective somehow. It was while she cried in his arms that day that it had clicked for her. She'd pulled away from Natsu, and he hadn't said a word on the matter. He'd let her deal with things in her own way, on her own time table.

Lucy felt like he needed to know why she'd changed so much.

So she'd told him. Through her tears, and pushing through the pain of recounting what had happened, she told Natsu what Darren had really been like. She didn't mention a thing about Cobra being the one to kill Darren. No one needed to know about that.

Looking back on it, she wasn't sure why it was so surprising that Natsu had held her as tightly as he did after she was done talking. She shouldn't have been surprised that he was upset - both over her keeping it from him while it was happening, and that she'd had to go through Darren's abuse to begin with.

What really did surprise her though, even to this day, was how he'd cried.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Natsu cry. But that day, he'd cried in silence, and held her and stroked her hair. He'd told her that _he_ was _sorry_. For not noticing she needed help, for not protecting her, for letting Darren anywhere near her. Even when she tried to explain how he'd acted like a completely different person to keep her friends in the dark, Natsu still blamed himself for being too stupid to see the truth.

For the first time in over two years, Lucy willingly brought someone to her bed. Except, she and Natsu simply laid together, holding one another, while he whispered that he wasn't going to let her ever get hurt again. Lucy figured he didn't have much to worry about where that was concerned. She wasn't all that interested in letting anyone close enough to hurt her like that.

* * *

The first time Lucy tried dating someone, it was only after he'd been thoroughly vetted by Natsu. She'd been extremely embarrassed by the third degree Thomas had gotten, paired with Natsu's overbearing presence, searing heat for added intimidation, and incessant _sniffing_ to make sure Thomas wasn't lying about every answer he gave.

But he'd passed Natsu's test, she supposed, because now she was going on a fourth date with Thomas. And he was nice, and sweet. He was handsome with his casual jeans and t-shirts and carefully messy auburn hair hanging down just past his ears. He had the kindest grey eyes she'd ever seen. And his smile… That was what had made her look at him a second time. He smiled as though every moment was precious.

They both loved reading, and he seemed genuinely interested in listening to her talk about her magic. She didn't mind that he wasn't a mage. If anything, it made him safer.

He could potentially use his magic to stop her from defending herself.

She was also very careful with the information she gave him about her keys, though. Darren had capitalized on knowing that her keys had to be with her for her to summon her spirits. Thomas didn't know that, and she was sure to make it seem as though she didn't need to touch them to summon Virgo or Loke whenever she wished.

Lucy really did want to trust him, but Capricorn had given her a pep talk before each of the dates she went on with Thomas. He always told her, "Lady Lucy, you must take baby steps. Be proud of your progress now. You can look to the future, and you can have goals, but don't let those overshadow all the progress you've made so far."

She had to remember that. She'd made loads of progress. Now, as they walked from the restaurant and toward her apartment, she didn't have a mini-panic attack just from the feeling of his fingers sliding between hers. He was just holding her hand, and his grip was gentle, almost lazy as though this was perfectly normal.

Once upon a time, it had been normal for her.

A soft breeze blew past, and a hint of the pollen in the air wriggled its way up into her sinuses. Lucy sneezed, holding it in as much as possible, since she didn't have a tissue.

Thomas simply smiled at her. "You're really cute when you sneeze," he said.

She glanced at him and nearly ignored the way her shoulders tightened with dread. She was ready to brush it off, but that conversation with Cobra came to mind again.

"_Speak up. You'll find things about yourself that have changed. And that's okay. You're gonna realize there are people who will and won't respect your boundaries. And if they won't respect those boundaries, then you have complete control over whether or not they're in your life."_

He'd been right. She needed to speak up for herself. Even if Thomas thought it was something silly, this was important to her.

Lucy winced and slowed her steps. "Um, Thomas?"

"Hm?" She really did like how he always made eye contact with her when she spoke. It let her know he was really listening to her.

"Please don't call me cute, okay?" she said, hunching her shoulders slightly. "I really don't like it."

He seemed confused. She could tell by the strange sound of his chuckle. "You're funny, Lucy."

"No," she said a little more firmly. Crap, maybe that was too much. She looked at the ground then. "I _really_ don't like it when people call me cute. I'd… I'd appreciate it if you didn't say that…"

His brows furrowed and his smile faded. He lightly squeezed her hand to get her attention, then said, "Okay, I'll bite. Why don't you like it?"

Lucy didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted him to accept what she'd said at face value. But maybe that was being too selfish. Maybe she could compromise, and tell him at least a little bit to sate his curiosity. "An ex called me that all the time," she finally said. "Things didn't exactly end well, and… when someone calls me that…"

"It reminds you of him?" he asked. She nodded and his smile returned, a little sadder than normal. "It sucks being hung up on an ex, but I get it. I'm sorry, Lucy."

She wanted to tell him that it wasn't what he thought. She wasn't hung up on Darren and missing him. But she didn't want to ruin the mood. Thomas could think whatever he wanted. "You didn't know," she said. "It's nothing against you, I just…"

Thomas shrugged. "It's no big deal."

She breathed a soft sigh of relief when the subject changed. He didn't bring it up again that night. He didn't pry. They talked about the issues she was having with her novel, and he tried to think of ways she could work through the huge hole she'd created in her plot. Honestly, hearing his outlandish ideas helped to seriously lift her spirits.

She couldn't help but laugh when he suggested that she give the protagonist wings of fire so she could flap them really hard and blow away the evil wizard's castle.

They rounded the corner one block away from her apartment, and she noticed someone leaning against the side of her building, smoking a cigarette. Thomas slowed his steps, and she naturally followed suit, but their conversation never faltered. To anyone else, it probably seemed as though they were trying to prolong their inevitable separation once she got home. Maybe they looked like two lovebirds who just didn't want to say goodnight now that their time together was done.

As they drew nearer to the stranger leaning against her building, Lucy caught the barest glimpse of an impossibly pointed ear with the glint of a small golden hoop earring in the nearby lacrima-powered lamp post. The stranger met her gaze with a single indigo eye as he blew out a cloud of smoke.

"I'll walk you to your door," Thomas said just loud enough for her to hear.

Lucy smiled at Cobra as he pushed off the wall, then looked up at Thomas. "It's okay," she said, still walking toward her visitor. "He's a friend." Well, that wasn't entirely the truth. She and Cobra weren't friends, but she did trust him. He'd proven that he'd turned over a new leaf with Crime Sorciere.

"A mage?" Thomas whispered.

She nodded. "He's in another guild, and he doesn't come to town often," she said. More like never. She couldn't remember the last time Crime Sorciere had been in Magnolia. She vaguely recalled Erza mentioning something about going to lunch with Jellal earlier though. Lucy just hadn't considered the very real possibility that Cobra would be in town as well. When she tried to pull her hand from Thomas' grip, she frowned at the way he held on more tightly. "I should probably make sure it's not an emergency."

"Would he really stand outside waiting for you to show up if it was?"

Cobra chuckled, drawing their attention to him as he stepped fully into the light. "Hell no," he cut in. "And I wouldn't come to her if it was an emergency to begin with."

She felt the way Thomas went rigid as they came to a stop in front of Cobra. That was odd. Was he trying to be protective over her? What did he think he could do with no magic? Especially against someone like Cobra, who had the potential to _literally_ eat him alive… She wasn't sure if Cobra was a cannibal or not, but it didn't take much imagination to picture him doing it, if he was so inclined.

Cobra glanced down at where Thomas held her hand, then met Lucy's gaze. A slow smirk rose to his thin lips. "Interrupting a date, huh?"

"Kinda, yeah," she laughed. "Thomas, this is-"

"Not important," Cobra interjected. "I'm gonna be in town for a couple days. Stocking up supplies and shit."

Lucy nodded.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then added. "I need to talk to you."

Lucy's brows rose in surprise as she looked from Cobra over to Thomas. Well darn. She was enjoying her time with Thomas. But if this was important, and she was inclined to believe that it was if Cobra was actively seeking her out, then maybe she needed to invite him inside for a cup of tea so they could talk.

He shook his head at her train of thought, running a hand through his spiked maroon hair. It looked longer than the last time she'd seen him. Maybe she could offer to have Cancer cut it for him, since he was on the road all the time. "Tomorrow," Cobra said. "Only if you're free. I'll… stop by again."

Lucy frowned, but still nodded. "If you're sure."

"Yeah," he muttered. He didn't say anything more as he turned in the opposite direction and walked away without another word.

"That was weird," Thomas said, frowning at Cobra's retreating back. "He didn't even ask if you have plans."

Lucy just giggled and started walking toward her apartment building again. "He'll know," she said. "he's always popping up at the right time."

* * *

Cobra didn't see Lucy the next day. Or the day after. She went on a mission with her team, then had another nice date with Thomas. As time went on, she forgot about the odd conversation with the Poison Slayer in front of her apartment entirely.

Two more months passed, and her relationship with Thomas was no more. At first, she wasn't entirely sure why he broke up with her, but she wasn't heartbroken over it. She didn't love him, and she'd been nowhere near close to even _falling_ for him. Still, it was nice while it lasted. He'd been so sweet. He'd taken her reservations about intimacy like a champ, and went along with it, even though it meant he'd only ever been able to kiss her on the cheek.

She'd never even tried to kiss him. Not once. Every time his lips got too close to hers, she turned away on a reflex, and hadn't had the courage to turn back so he could kiss her properly. They'd been a couple for six months, and she'd never been physically available. She'd barely been emotionally available. He'd been so patient with her, so gentle, but Lucy had just never felt more than friendship with him. Even though she'd known that, she hadn't been able to bring herself to break up.

It was selfish, but she'd wanted to spend time with him without the physical side to muck things up.

Realization set in when she was on a mission with her team. They'd just cleared a forest of the monsters roaming around that had been summoned by some dark guild - a piddly little attempt at bad guys who hadn't stood a chance against Erza's Heaven's Wheel armor (which was total overkill, in Lucy's opinion) and her commanding presence (which had caused the guild's "leader" to pee his pants). While Virgo was rounding up the last of the dark guild members with her chains, and preparing to transport them to the nearest Rune Knight outpost to be arrested, Lucy finally understood why Thomas broke up with her.

She was too damaged. He left her because she was just too messed up to be a normal girlfriend. No matter how much fun they had going on dates and spending time together, she was just too hung up on what had happened to her before. She'd known, deep down, why Thomas left her. It just didn't hit home until then.

It hadn't hurt until that moment.

Of course, there wasn't anything she could really do about it with her team around. But then she saw Natsu nearby, and watched him scent the air with a frown on his face. He turned slightly so she was behind him, breathing in the wind that whipped past her hair and nearly sent her skirt flying skyward. Lucy made her way to his side. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I thought I smelled Cobra somewhere."

She looked around, but shrugged it off. They could usually trust Natsu's nose, but maybe it was something in the area that smelled like Cobra. Or maybe Crime Sorciere was really nearby on a mission of their own. She wasn't entirely sure how their guild worked, and if everyone in the guild took missions as a single team or if people went off in pairs, or even for solo work.

Maybe she'd ask Cobra about it the next time they bumped into each other.

"Let's get back to town," Erza said, Requipping back into her normal armored outfit. "Virgo, thank you for dealing with these miscreants. We greatly appreciate your help."

Virgo bowed to Erza, then turned to Lucy and bowed lower. "My Princess's wish is an honor to fulfill." She didn't ask for punishment before walking off, dragging the unconscious dark mages behind her.

Lucy almost felt bad for them as the team fell in step behind Virgo, and she noticed the sheer number of tree roots jutting from the ground. Lucy cringed. That had to hurt.

* * *

For once, Lucy splurged on her own room that night at the hotel. Erza had been surprised by it, as had Natsu and Gray, but she'd said that she just wanted to have some peace and quiet to meditate. Erza and Gray accepted the excuse easily enough, but Natsu had followed her to her room with his arms crossed over his chest.

Lucy let him inside and plopped down sideways across her bed with a heavy sigh. "What's up, Natsu?"

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, closing her eyes. This bed was really comfortable. And knowing that she'd have it all to herself was a definite bonus.

Natsu sat down at the foot of the bed, and Lucy's head turned to look at him. "Luce, I don't wanna freak you out or anything, but I noticed something a while back. I've been trying to keep it to myself, and figure it out on my own."

Her brows drew together and she sat up on her elbows. "Natsu?" she whispered. "What's wrong?"

"I wanna ask you something first, okay?" he said softly. "Don't get mad, and I don't want you to think that I think less of you or anything…"

"... Okay?" Where was he even going with this?

"You trust me, right?" Lucy nodded without hesitation. "And you'd tell me if there was something going on…"

"Natsu, you know I would," she said in earnest. Lucy rolled onto her side and lightly grabbed his hand. "If this is still about Darren-"

"No, it's not," he said quickly, then winced. "Well, kinda… But not Darren, exactly."

She blinked slowly. "Okay, I'm lost. Talk it out, and help me understand."

He took a deep breath, then heaved out a great sigh as he looked at her slender fingers brushing over the back of his hand. "I wanted to ask if you've been keeping in touch with Cobra lately," he said.

"No," she laughed. "Why would I?"

"You haven't… talked on the lacrima, or met up with him anywhere?"

Lucy frowned, thinking back. She hadn't sought him out for anything, but there was that one time. "He did show up at my apartment a while back," she said, struggling to recall what they'd talked about. "I was coming back from a date with Thomas…"

"Did you invite him inside or anything?"

"No," she said, her frown deepening. "He said he needed to talk to me, I think… Yeah, but then he left because I was busy."

Natsu nodded, clearly lost in thought.

"Natsu… hun… you're kinda freaking me out right now," she said, scooting closer to him. "Why are you suddenly asking about Cobra?"

"Do you promise to be a hundred percent honest with me?" he whispered. His forest green eyes seemed worried, but there was something more than that, something that set her nerves on edge and made her think back to the times she'd heard Darren's footsteps coming closer to her front door.

"Yeah," she said.

"No matter what?"

Lucy nodded again.

"I smelled Cobra on you when you came back," he said softly. "It was barely there, but I knew I recognized it. He was there when you were gone with Darren… right?"

Lucy's eyes widened and her veins turned to ice. Natsu… smelled Cobra on her?

"I smelled his poison," he said. "When you came back and the Rune Knights kept coming around and questioning you, and we found out that Darren got killed, and you were asleep in the bath when it happened…"

"Natsu-"

"He was there," he said. There was finality in his voice that gave no room for argument. He knew. "I couldn't figure out why I'd smell him on you, so I just let it go. But it's been bothering me ever since, and then when you told me about what Darren did to you… I started thinking about smelling Cobra again. Why was he there?"

"I-I don't wanna talk about that," Lucy said.

"Did he hurt you or something?" he asked. Natsu's hand turned and captured hers, pulling her up to sit beside him.

"No, Cobra didn't hurt me."

"Did he… stop Darren from hurting you?"

Lucy bit her lips and looked away, but that seemed to be all the answer he needed.

"I don't need the details," he said. "I'm not sure I really wanna know… As long as he didn't hurt you, then it's okay." He smiled at her in that Natsu way of his, but it faded a moment later. "But after I smelled him on you that day, I noticed something. It seemed like a fluke at first, y'know? It could've been a coincidence. Just every few months for a couple years, and you never said anything, so I figured it wasn't anything to worry about."

She was officially lost. Why was he talking in circles like this? What was it that he'd noticed?

"And then they showed up on that mission. I kept an eye out, just in case, but he didn't go near you," Natsu continued. "So I told Erza that we should just keep it a secret… I'm really sorry about that. You looked so surprised when they showed up at the hotel."

"Who?" Lucy asked. Wait, was he talking about that time Crime Sorciere had made a random appearance during their mission? Why was he bringing that up?

"But she stayed in the room with you that night, and she told me the next morning that you hadn't gone anywhere," he said with a soft sigh.

"Natsu, I'm confused… what does this have to do with Cobra?" Well, she had gone somewhere that night, but Erza must have been sleeping so soundly that she hadn't noticed Lucy leaving the room, or when she finally came back after spending a couple hours with Cobra at the hot spring.

His eyes hardened, causing her to go still. Why did he look so upset? "And then the smell was back. Once a month, then every couple weeks while you and Thomas were dating."

"Wait, are you saying you smelled Cobra?" she asked, her brows shooting up into her hairline when he nodded. "A-All the time?"

"You're sure you never invited him inside your apartment?" Natsu asked.

Cold dread swept over her. "N-No," she whimpered. She didn't want to ask, but the question fell from her lips. "Why?"

"Before we left on this mission," he said, nearly growling as he glared at their joined hands, "I smelled him in your apartment, Luce. He's… following you. I don't know why he's doing it, but I really started picking up on it after you told me about what Darren did."

"What do you mean he was in my apartment?" she breathed.

"I paid more attention to things going on with you. That's when I noticed how much he was around, but I never saw him." His scowl deepened. "Pretty sure the only reason I could smell him earlier was because the wind changed direction..."

"Where was he in my apartment?" Lucy asked. Her grip on Natsu's hand tightened until her knuckles turned white, her whole body trembling.

"I don't wanna overstep any boundaries or anything, but I'd feel better if I stayed with you," he said. "I won't let him get anywhere near you."

"Where, Natsu?"

When he met her horrified gaze, she knew the truth. Before he spoke, she knew exactly what he was going to say. Her stomach twisted into a painful knot that had her stumbling to her feet and shaking her head. She wanted to not believe it. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Cobra wouldn't do that. He wouldn't-

"In your bedroom."

* * *

**So… this took a turn I really hadn't anticipated. Never fear, there's at least one more chapter after this because… reasons. I can't just leave it on a cliffhanger like this. I'm sure you guys would kill me.**

**That's it for Day 5 of CoLu Week 2019 though, and Day 6 will appear in **_**Apothe-Cobra**_**! (It's been a long time since I've updated that one lol)**


	4. CoLu Week 2019: Day 6, Grain Pt 1

**A/N: Surprise! So I'd planned on making this prompt into the next **_**Apothe-Cobra**_** chapter, and then I realized that the story isn't CoLu heavy (aside from random mentions of their marriage) until later chapters… And since this is CoLu Week… Well, I figured it'd be better if we got something that was actually focused on these two.**

**Besides, I know you guys are dying for another chapter after that cliffhanger! Considering I'd been ready and raring to write on that other story, and this one jumped out with a terrifying, **_**"Bitch, you thought!"**_** I can only assume this is where my muse is currently living right now.**

**So, let's get on with it and see if we can't figure out why Cobra's gone to the creep side.**

* * *

**CoLu Week 2019  
Day 6, Part 1  
**_**Grain**_

* * *

Natsu slept in the bed with Lucy that night at the hotel. After taking a few minutes to remember how to breathe, and assimilate the fact that Cobra was _stalking_ _her_, and creeping _into her bedroom_, she'd very readily agreed to her best friend staying. But while Natsu slept, Lucy laid beside him, staring at the ceiling and unable to sleep.

All she could think about were the times she'd just happened to stumble upon him. Were those planned on his part? Was he following her and making it seem like it was nothing more than coincidence, because he could hear her soul?

That day that she'd been walking back to the hotel with Darren, she'd seen Cobra in the crowd. She'd bumped into him and apologized, and had been surprised to see _him_ of all people there. And then later in the day, when she'd been running away, Cobra popped out of that alley and right into her path. Had it all been part of his plan?

He _had_ said that he'd heard her soul screaming for months. Did that mean he'd waited until that day to do something about it? Or had he hoped things would get better for her? Maybe he just hadn't been able to get to her sooner for some reason?

She didn't see Cobra for two years, but Natsu said that he'd smelled Cobra around here and there, every few months. Was that just a coincidence, or had he been checking in on her to make sure she was alright with Darren out of the picture?

Why the hell would he care, anyway?

And then the hot spring…

Lucy had asked Natsu for more details about that, and she'd learned the whole truth. A discussion with Jellal had revealed that Crime Sorciere really had just been in the area, hunting the same enemies her team had been hired to go after. Apparently the former criminals guild tended to scalp missions that they assumed hadn't been accepted by another guild, and returned to the requestor asking for less than the posted wage as a reward. It worked in their favor, and helped them to build a positive reputation. But because Natsu hadn't known that at the time, he'd told Erza and Gray to keep it from Lucy. Because Cobra _had_ been there. And when he'd seen that Lucy wasn't with the main group, he'd disappeared.

She breathed deeply, turning to look at Natsu's sleeping face in the darkness. Did that mean the mage she'd been chasing hadn't died from a heart attack? Had Cobra poisoned him before Lucy caught up?

Natsu also told her how, after she and Erza left to go change for the hot spring, Cobra and Macbeth had walked off as well, in the opposite direction. And he'd talked with Jellal right then and there about why they were at the hotel. From what she'd been told, Jellal had said the suggestion came from Meredy, because of the hot spring.

But it could have easily been Cobra who put the bug in Meredy's ear that there was a hot spring at that hotel. He could have heard it from any of their souls, that it was where they were headed after their mission. And if that was the case, then he'd done it on purpose to make sure he could get closer to Lucy.

And she'd run right to him that night. Why had he been out there? Had he known she would have a nightmare? That she'd end up at the hot spring where he was laying in wait?

Lucy rolled onto her side as a new thought crashed through her with enough force to knock the wind from her lungs. "It was Macbeth…"

He used magic that could give people nightmares! Had he used a spell on her while they'd been in the lobby, then manipulated her dreams so she'd leave the room? Or had he used it on Erza so she wouldn't know Lucy was missing at all? Maybe both! She'd seen him moving around through the window that night. He was awake! He knew Cobra wasn't in the room!

And if Cobra and Macbeth were close - which, she assumed they were, considering how long they'd been working together - then it wasn't too far of a stretch for Cobra to convince Macbeth to give Lucy a nightmare so she'd be separated from her team.

She reached for Natsu's overly warm arm, grasping it tightly. She wasn't sure whether she should wake him up with this. What if this was all just in her head? What if she was reading into things, and it wasn't some dastardly plot after all? What if it really had just been a nightmare, and Cobra really had just _happened _to be at the hot spring, mere feet from where she collapsed, willing to give her all the advice she could want or need?

No… That didn't make sense. The pieces fit together a little too perfectly.

And she didn't see him again - but he was apparently _around _\- until she'd been on that date with Thomas… And he'd said he wanted to talk to her about something, but then he never showed up. Had it been because it wasn't safe for him to be around her? Had he only said that because she'd caught him standing outside her apartment?

No, he would've heard her walking up well before he was even visible to her. If Cobra had wanted to stay hidden, then he would have done it. He'd already proven he was capable of that and much more. Which had to mean that he'd wanted her to see him. To know he was there. But why?

Why had he wanted to talk to her? And why had he never come back after the fact? If it was important enough for him to have waited outside her apartment, why hadn't he returned?

"Mm, Luce?" Natsu mumbled, smacking his lips sleepily. "Wass wrong?"

She didn't want to worry him with her late night freak out. Her grip on his arm loosened. That must be what woke him up. "Sorry," she breathed.

Natsu rolled into his side, facing her as his eyes slid open just a sliver. He blinked slowly, probably to try and focus on her face in the dark. "You're breathing is off…" He blinked again, and the next time he looked at her, he seemed much more alert. He sat up quickly, looking around the room. She could hear him pulling in air, checking their surroundings. Finally, he looked back at her. "I don't smell him. Did you see something?"

Lucy shook her head quickly. "I'm just being stupid," she said. "Go back to sleep."

His eyes softened just before she rolled onto her other side, putting her back to him. "Bad dream?" he asked.

"I can't sleep," she sighed. "I keep thinking about it." Lucy took a shaky breath when the blanket rustled and he laid down behind her. Her eyes closed, and she found Cobra there behind her eyelids, simply watching her. Her eyes snapped open again.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

She wanted to say there wasn't a thing he could do, but Lucy just didn't know. She had to turn her brain off somehow. She had to make herself stop worrying so much. "I'm sorry I woke you up," she muttered.

"Don't be," Natsu said. "I'm here to keep you safe, Luce."

"Why do you think he's doing it?" she asked. "That's all I keep thinking about… Just… why."

"I dunno," Natsu said after a moment. "But we'll figure it out, okay? And if it's okay with you, we'll talk to Erza. Maybe she can help."

"I don't want her to know about everything."

She could feel his smile as his hand gently rested on her head. Slowly, his fingers burrowed through her hair and down to her scalp, and drew small, lazy circles that would have her hair a knotted mess come morning. "That's up to you," he whispered.

They stayed like that for some time, and she was sure it was helping her to relax enough to actually fall asleep. When Natsu's hand left her head, she nearly pouted. But then something warm and thick draped itself over her shoulders that smelled like her best friend.

"I can't let you keep it, but you can borrow it tonight," he said. "Igneel's scarf always keeps the bad dreams away."

Lucy's eyes widened. Natsu was letting her wear his scarf? She knew how important this was to him. She'd seen how well he took care of it, even when the rest of his clothes really needed more attention. This was everything that he had left of his dragon. Natsu's very own wearable security blanket. She'd also seen him struggling to sleep once when he didn't have his scarf, when he was healing from an injury a few years back and it had been removed so he could be treated. As soon as Lucy had noticed, she brought the folded up material to his bed and laid it across his chest, and he'd relaxed.

"He did always say it's magic," Natsu whispered. She couldn't stop herself from rolling over again, so she could look at him as he spoke.

Luckily, her eyes had adjusted to the dark well enough that she could make out his features, his tired eyes and gentle smile. And the scar on his neck that he always hid under his scarf. She remembered the day they'd learned how he'd gotten it - all because they had been sucked into some _Memory Days_ book in the storage area of the guild, and Natsu had been smacking his younger self around, trying to convince him to go fight Gray.

"It'll keep you safe and warm, okay?"

Lucy smiled at him, then and brought a hand up to his cheek. Her thumb brushed over it, feeling the softness of his skin where there might one day be facial hair. "Thank you, Natsu," she breathed, "For taking care of me."

His forehead pressed against hers and his eyes closed. "I'll always take care of you, Luce."

She let her own eyes close, and instead of Cobra, there was blessed darkness waiting for her. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep after that, wrapped in her best friend's magical dragon scarf, with his forehead lightly touching hers as they breathed the same air.

For the first time in years, she felt truly safe.

* * *

For the next month, Natsu didn't leave her alone for long. He slept in her bed every night. After another month, he let Gray in on what was going on, and eventually they all agreed that it was time to tell Erza. Natsu couldn't figure this out on his own, and even with Gray and Lucy helping, they were just not coming up with many other options. Erza had the best chance of getting in contact with Crime Sorciere and getting a pretty quick response.

Especially if Jellal thought she was calling him to get some action.

As Lucy had learned, Erza and Jellal were a couple of horndogs now that they'd gotten past their painfully awkward flirting and dancing around their feelings.

Lucy was surprised by how well Erza took the news of what was happening with Cobra. There was no screaming about defending her honor. Though, Natsu had said that after the first month, Cobra stopped coming around as often. Most likely because he figured out that they were onto him, and he didn't want to get caught.

Lucy sat cross-legged on her couch with Natsu and Gray sitting on either side of her, helping to hold her together as Erza grabbed her lacrima phone and called Jellal.

"Tell me," Erza said by way of greeting, "Is Cobra near you right now?"

Lucy couldn't hear the response, so she just waited for Erza to continue. Hopefully she could piece together the conversation based on what her friend said.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it," she chuckled. The sound was far too intimate for her being surrounded by friends, in Lucy's opinion. "I was hoping we could meet soon." Erza nodded and hummed her agreement, then laughed again and hung up. Her cheeks were very distinctively flushed when she turned back to face the team. "Jellal and I are going to be meeting in a secluded location, a little north of Hargeon. We should find a job in that area."

Gray stood at the same time as Natsu, both shouting, "I'm on it!" They glared at one another, then to Lucy's front door, back at each other. Natsu bolted half a second before Gray did, throwing the front door wide open. They both tried to squeeze through it at the same time, turning themselves into a wriggling pile of shrieking limbs as Gray managed to get his torso out first while Natsu's legs and one arm made it out of her apartment.

"Back off, Stripper!" Natsu shouted.

"You back off, Firefart!" Gray shot back. "I'm gonna go pick a mission!"

"Erza was obviously looking at me when she said it!"

"Bullshit! She was looking at me!"

"Boys!" Erza bellowed over both of them, causing Gray to lift his head from where he was about to bite Natsu's thigh. "Both of you should work together to pick a mission. Remember, not too far north of Hargeon."

Lucy sighed when Natsu and Gray stopped fighting each other, instead helping to get the other out of her apartment. They slammed the door and ran away. Bunch of cowards.

"And Lucy."

She gulped and turned her attention back to Erza. Wait, could she go choose a mission with them? Three heads was better than two, right? Please?

Erza's stern frown melted into a gentle smile as she took a seat beside Lucy. Her gauntleted hand was tender where it rested on Lucy's knee. "We will get to the bottom of this."

"You're not… mad, are you?" That was what she'd worried about the most where this was concerned. Cobra's stalking wasn't even that much of a concern for her anymore, since Natsu had apparently scared him off. But she'd been worried that Gray might be upset over not being in the loop sooner, and downright terrified of how Erza might feel about being left out longer than him.

"No," Erza said, laughing softly. "Based on the information you've given me, Natsu was adamant about wanting to deal with this himself. I have noticed he's matured quite a bit in recent years."

"He's always been protective," Lucy laughed, shaking her head. "That's not new."

"No, but for him to be aware of not just his surroundings, but yours… And to put those pieces together to realize that something wasn't right. That says a great deal about how much he's grown."

She could readily admit that Erza was right on that front. Natsu had definitely grown up in a major way since finding out about all of this.

"I dare say, it might even be _because_ of your influence," Erza said with a wink. Lucy stared, not quite comprehending until Erza laughed. And then it clicked.

Oh. Ew. Was she trying to say that Natsu… No. That couldn't be the case. "Erza… I'm not…"

They were just friends! That was all! She wasn't even going to entertain the notion of Natsu possibly having feelings for her. No way. Not. At. All.

* * *

Lucy hadn't really been sure what Erza's plan of attack was when they'd surprised Crime Sorciere with a visit to their makeshift camp just north of Hargeon. She'd assumed it would've been something logical and levelheaded, with them talking to Jellal and having him bring Cobra over so they could hash things out.

What really happened, however, was nothing like that.

Honestly, she shouldn't have been surprised by the lack of decorum her teammates possessed as they ambushed the camp. She shouldn't have even been surprised by Virgo popping up and wrapping her chains around Cobra so he was hogtied on the ground. The duct tape Happy put over his mouth seemed like a bit of overkill, though.

This was odd though, because she knew for a fact that he must have heard them coming. He had to have known what they were planning. Or, more accurately, what everyone else was planning, because she'd really had no part in any of this insanity.

Erza pointed a sword at Cobra's face where he laid, trussed up in chains on the ground. He didn't look scared in the slightest. If anything, he looked angry. And not at Erza or her teammates.

Lucy frowned when she followed his line of sight over to find Macbeth sitting on a log, his arms crossed as he snored quietly. Very strange.

"Why have you been stalking Lucy?" Erza snarled.

"What?" Meredy gasped. "Cobra!"

"And why are you always following her around?" Natsu interjected.

"That's the same thing, dumbass," Gray groaned. "God, get a clue."

"Um, I don't think he can really answer," Lucy mumbled. She wasn't surprised in the slighted that they ignored her. Her team was pretty well-known for not listening to her small voice of reason - at least, they were from where she was standing.

"What's even going on right now?" Meredy asked. She stood from where she'd been crouching by her tent, and walked over to Erza. "Cobra's been stalking Lucy?"

"For quite some time now," Erza sneered. "Tell her, Natsu."

As Natsu went into an abridged version of what Cobra had been doing, Lucy set her attention on Macbeth again. Why would Cobra look so mad at one of his guildmates, and not the people who'd tied him up in the first place. Shuffling on the ground drew her gaze back to find Cobra struggling against Virgo's chains. He kicked helplessly at the ground, rolling from one side to the other. Nothing worked.

"Macbeth," Jellal said. Lucy bristled at his sudden appearance by her side. When the hell had he showed up? "You said you found something?"

Everyone present turned to look at the slumbering mage. "Is he even awake?" Lucy muttered. His head dropped forward an inch, and he snorted while steadying himself.

"Mm-wha?" Macbeth mumbled, smacking his lips.

"That would be a no." She nearly wanted to laugh over it all. Was this why Cobra was upset with him? Because Macbeth always seemed like such an innocuous presence, but he'd somehow gotten some kind of dirt on the Poison Slayer? How had he managed it in the first place, if he was almost always unconscious?

"You said you found something," Jellal repeated. Macbeth frowned and blinked slowly. "About Cobra?"

"Oh!" And suddenly Macbeth was awake. Wide awake. There was some sort of cruel smile turning up the corners of his plum-painted lips that gave Lucy some serious shivers. He uncrossed his arms and stood from his log, then stretched. He nearly bent in half backwards, and she was positive the sudden crackling sound in the air hadn't come from the nearby fire, but from his spine. She pitied his chiropractor.

The group was silent as Macbeth walked casually over to the still-struggling Poison Slayer. Cobra yelled something from behind his duct tape gag, but Macbeth ignored him while crouching and shoving his hand inside Cobra's jacket.

"Mm-mm!" Cobra tried to scream. "Mm!" He kicked at the ground harder than before, shifting his body so he could push Macbeth away. He wasn't fast enough, because when his boot connected with Macbeth's side and sent him flying back onto his ass, there was a worn leather notebook clutched in his pale hand.

"He writes in a journal," Macbeth said. He didn't seem perturbed by the hit in the slightest. Instead, he simply sat on the ground and smirked over at Cobra, whose eye had gone wide as soon as he opened the notebook. "I noticed him writing in it a few months back. There might be something in here about it."

"Mm mmhm-mhmm!" Cobra rolled onto his knees and tried to scramble closer, then groaned as Virgo pulled on the chains, forcing him back onto his ass in the dirt. Lucy watched Macbeth flip through the pages, then he paused. She looked back at Cobra, and found him glaring at the dirt. Odd. Had he really given up fighting?

Well, it did seem inevitable at this point. But she hadn't expected him to accept this so easily.

"Here's a mention of Lucy," Macbeth said, then his brows furrowed. "Dated almost three years ago…"

Lucy's eyes went wide. That long ago… Could that mean… She stared at Cobra, who sighed heavily through his nose. He didn't look at her, but she knew that when he nodded… it was meant for her.

* * *

_I can't stop hearing her. She's crying again. Why does she have to cry like this? Why does she let him hurt her like this? It's not love. You'd think someone that's surrounded by people who love her, like Lucy is, would know that what he's doing isn't fucking love. This is torture. He belittles her, and she doesn't say a word back. She tried once. I heard it when she did, and he hit her for it. Why won't she let her friends know? Why does she let them believe he's a good person? This doesn't make sense! None of it does. Why does he treat her like an animal, something he has to tame and mold into what he wants her to be?_

_Why can't he see how perfect she already is? Why can't she see that she deserves better than this?_

* * *

_Four months of hearing this screaming. This crying. This deadness in her soul when she's all alone and wishing for it to go away. She won't tell anyone. She's too scared. I understand that, but he's going to kill her if this doesn't stop. I can pinpoint her soul so easily now. I know how it sings and screams and begs for mercy, and none of those things have happened because of me. I've only ever heard it from a distance, but I could pick her out of a crowd with how familiar it is, now. I can't find his soul though, but I want to, if only to figure out how he can hurt someone so pure and kind. How could he do shit like this to her when she doesn't deserve it?_

_Does his soul sound like Zero's? Is that why he beats her like Brain did with me?_

_Is this what my soul sounded like?_

_I wish I could find the answers to my questions in this book instead of just writing them, but I don't think there are any answers._

_I just hope I can find her before it's too late._

* * *

Macbeth paused in reading once he reached the end of the passage, but Lucy wasn't looking at him or anyone else. Not until she felt Natsu's arm wrap around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. He gave her a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

"Lucy, who is he talking about?" Erza asked softly.

"I don't wanna talk about it," she said. "It's done, so…"

"Wait, does he mean that one guy you dated?" Gray asked, frowning at Cobra. "The one who died when you two were on vacation?"

Lucy didn't say a word, but Natsu spoke for her. For once, she was happy that someone else decided to speak in her place. She couldn't find the words, anyway. "Yeah," Natsu said. "But she's moving on from it, so we're not gonna force her to talk about any of that unless she wants to. Right, Luce?"

She nodded, staring at the ground. She wasn't going to look at Cobra or Macbeth, or see the way Erza's view of her had changed written across her strong features.

How weak did she look, now? And in front of the members of Crime Sorciere, too? Sorano would probably have a field day with this. They weren't friends by any means, and Lucy had a feeling that she really wasn't all that fond of her in the first place. In fact, she was positive that Sorano was giddy over learning something like this about her. How weak and helpless she'd been, and how she hadn't even tried to fight back.

Macbeth's voice piqued her interest though. "There's a page torn out. And… something's smeared on the next page."

Lucy looked up, her eyes wide as they honed in on the murky brownish-red smudges across the paper. Was that… Darren's blood?

The note he'd written her, that he'd hidden in her duffel bag where no one would find it but her… He'd torn the page from his journal? Did that mean he carried it with him everywhere? If that was the case, then why did no one seem to know he had it?

Macbeth flipped to the next page, then the next. "Seems like he doesn't write every day," he said. "These entries are months apart…" He turned back to the last unread entry, and started to read aloud once again.

* * *

_The Rune Knights are leaving her alone now. Thank god. I didn't know how long she'd be able to keep her mouth shut. I'm glad she burned the letter though, got rid of the only evidence left that could tie me to the crime scene._

_She's still so scared that it's not real. He's been dead for a month already. He shouldn't even be a blip on her radar. She can move on now, be happy. She can live._

_I wonder how long it'll be before she realizes she doesn't have to be afraid… How long it'll be before she knows that she's free. This is the last time I'll write about her though. No reason to waste my pages talking about some girl who doesn't fucking matter anyway._

_Not like she'd want to be around me anyway. I'm a murderer. She saw firsthand how I operate. What kind of whackjob would want to even have a conversation with someone like that?_

* * *

_I told myself I wouldn't write about her, but I had a dream just now that woke me up. It was happy. She smiled at me in the dream, and for the first time, I didn't stop someone from trying to hug me. I know it's just a dream, but the tears on my cheek are real as hell. I was happy. So fucking happy from getting a hug in a dream. I can still feel the way she held me. I know it's not real, and it'll never happen, but it's something I can hold onto. Something that's just for me. I don't care that it was all in my head. Last night, I heard her thinking about me when she was in the bath. She closed her eyes, and pictured me there, holding that fucksicle's intestines in my hands. She wasn't grossed out._

_Still, it's all just wishful thinking, and I don't have time for bullshit like that._

_She's safe now, so there's no reason to listen in on her anymore. Lucy's well-being is her team's responsibility, not mine._

* * *

When Lucy looked at Cobra as Macbeth paused in his reading, seemingly skipping past entries that had no mention of her or his motivation for following her, she found the Poison Slayer still staring at the ground. The waning sunlight must have been playing tricks on her eyes, because his ears looked a little red at the tips. But he couldn't be blushing.

That was just ludicrous.

"Oh, here we go. He doesn't write anything about her for a couple years, but then…" Macbeth held his place and flipped through several pages. "Yeah, it looks like everything else has her name in it somewhere."

Lucy winced. She wondered how detailed these journal entries were going to get.

* * *

_I'm so stupid. What the fuck was I thinking, rushing away from Midnight like that just because I heard her nearby? So what if she was chasing some bandit? She's not incapable of handling her shit! I'm so fucking stupid! And then I heard Frosty McSnowballs thinking about wanting to ask Angel to come to the hot spring at the hotel they'll be staying at, even though he hates hot springs. God fucking damnit. This isn't good._

_I was gonna keep my distance from Lucy. I wasn't going to get closer. But she was so close to where we were at, and our job was the same one her team took! It felt right to help her._

_Maybe she wouldn't think about it that way. Maybe she'd get mad at me for interfering, but my feet were moving before I could stop them, and then everyone was following me, and I had to redirect them so we'd meet up with her team. But then… she still wasn't back. I had to go find her._

_I'm so fucking stupid!_

_I'm so stupid. So stupid. So stupid. I should've stayed away._

* * *

_Midnight seems like he's curious about something. I can't hear anything in his soul about how weird I've been acting, but he's more… aware. I heard Angel wishing she could go and spend time with Gray, not that she'd ever admit it, so I told her where they were going. But now we're at the hotel too. I couldn't tell anyone why I didn't want to come, so I just kept my mouth shut. Even when Lucy was standing there, staring at me, I didn't say a thing. If I just stay in my room, it'll be over soon. If I just stay away from her, she'll stop thinking about me, and talking about what happened, and how I was the last person she kissed._

* * *

_I had a nightmare. I don't know if it was because of Midnight, but I can't stop thinking about it now. Maybe I should go soak in the hot spring for a bit. That should help calm me down. Then I can go back to sleep and we can leave in the morning, and I won't have to see her. _

_I haven't had to smoke in a while. Good thing I keep a pack in my bag for nights like this. Guess I'll have a smoke before I get in the hot spring, though. I know I can't do it while I'm in the water..._

_Maybe I can convince Jellal that we need to head out early._

_I'll check to see if there's any activity we should look into while I'm soaking._

* * *

_I know she'll never read this. I wish I could've told her tonight that I did hear how she wanted someone to love her the way she loved them. Maybe that would've embarrassed her too much. I could've reassured her that I didn't think she was pathetic for keeping her guard up. I could've said that she's stronger than she gives herself credit for… But I didn't._

_No, instead, I invited her to fucking bathe with me. I can't believe I actually did that. She saw my back. I heard her when she looked at my scars. And then she wouldn't look anywhere but at my face. She didn't stare at my chest or anything. She was so fucking freaked out. I can't believe she actually agreed to getting in with me right there. But then she relaxed._

_Looking at the stars with her was… nice. I've never done something like that._

_I can barely even remember what we talked about, but it helped me relax more than the hot water did. I'm glad I walked her back to her room though. She was exhausted and the sun was about to come up. I still can't believe we talked for so long._

_I know she doesn't think of me as a friend, but I feel closer to her somehow. Maybe it's because she said I might be able to call her cute one day._

_Fuck me, I actually said she was cute out loud, didn't I?_

_If everyone wasn't already planning on having one more soak before we leave, I'd go drown myself right now... _

_Wait. I hear her. She's… happy. I made her happy just talking to her? Giving her advice?_

* * *

_She's dating again. She told Salamander about her ex, and now she's trying to date. He's not a mage. Maybe that makes her feel safer, stronger than the man she's with. I can understand that. I'm happy for her. It's about fucking time she tried to get back out there and make her own happiness. I really hope she finds what she's looking for._

* * *

Macbeth paused in flipping to the next page when Cobra started struggling again. "Oh, shut up already," he sighed. "You brought this on yourself by being a creep."

"And that's saying something coming from this guy," Sawyer chuckled, pointing at Macbeth. "Seriously, Cobra… What the hell?"

"You do realize this is beyond creepy, right?" Sorano loomed over Cobra, earning a vicious growl from him. His domineering presence was severely diminished by the duct tape over his mouth. "Writing in your little diary about her, and following her around? Honestly-"

Cobra's glare intensified at Sorano, and he lunged for her. Then he stopped when Macbeth took a breath to start reading again.

"Oh, this looks interesting," Macbeth chuckled. "Cobra, really?"

Lucy blinked in surprise when Cobra violently shook his head, his eye wide and horrified. What was it that Macbeth was seeing in that notebook? Why didn't Cobra want him to read it?

"If you insist," Macbeth crooned.

* * *

_I dreamed about her again. Every night for two whole weeks, she's been in my dreams. I'm thinking about her a lot more now. Her smile and her laugh and how her soul is singing more recently._

_She's beautiful. Down to her very soul. But I can't tell her. That'd be stupid as fuck. She knows I think she's cute, but that's something I can play off as part of casual conversation. But this? I can't play this shit off. Now I really have to stay away from her, because just thinking about seeing her is making me feel like I'll say something fucking stupid._

_Like how perfect she is. How I'd never do something like that one asshole._

_It's all dumb. A pointless daydream. But it's nice to think about when I'm alone._

_Last night, I dreamed about her lips. They're so soft… I wish I could kiss her again, but without poisoning her so she'd be off in lala-land while I murdered someone. Just… Just kissing her. Just holding her in my arms like I did that day._

_She felt so small, so fragile. I want to keep her safe. And still, somewhere in my head, I can't help but remember what it was like touching her waist and her thigh. Or how it felt when she kissed me back._

_That was the poison though. I know that. It lowered her inhibitions, and it made her loopy as fuck. I'm just glad she stayed in the bathroom like I told her to, so she didn't have to see him die…_

_Why can't I stop thinking about her? Why am I always wondering how she's doing?_

_What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't have a crush on her. That would be the dumbest fucking thing I could do. And yet…_

* * *

When Lucy looked back at Cobra as Macbeth's voice trailed off, she knew it wasn't a trick of the light. He was well and truly blushing from the tips of his pointed ears down to his cheeks. He didn't seem embarrassed though. If anything, he looked like he was ready to murder Macbeth right there.

"So this is about more than watching over her, huh?" Macbeth chuckled. "Tell me, Cobra, what sorts of sordid things did you do while you watched her?"

Cobra's efforts to get free doubled, then tripled, until he was violently wrenching his body one way and another to break Virgo's chains.

Macbeth's smile simply widened while Cobra threw himself against the ground.

* * *

_I don't know what I was thinking, standing outside of her apartment like that. She probably thinks I'm a creep. We were near Magnolia for a change, and I had some free time. I was hoping I'd catch her when she was free though. I wanted to tell her… I listened in on her boyfriend's soul, and he's really into her. And he's a good guy. Probably the perfect guy for her, in all honesty. I wanted to tell her… she could trust him. She didn't need to be afraid anymore, because she managed to snag a keeper._

_But then I saw her walking with him, and I couldn't move. She looked happy, holding his hand, talking to him._

_And then I thought about it, and I wished for just a second that it was me there instead. I wished… I could be by her side like that. I know I can't. I'm not good enough for her. I know that. I know. I just… wish… sometimes._

_My wishes don't come true though. So what did I fucking do? I told her I had to talk to her about something, and that I'd come back. I knew it was a lie when I was saying it. Because after I saw her, I wanted to tell her how I felt about her. Even though I'd never be as good as Captain Perfection with his no-magic-having ass._

_Fuck, this is jealousy. I know this taste in my mouth. I hate this._

_So what if I like her? It's never going to happen, and I know that. I won't go back to see her tomorrow, even if we're gonna be around town. I can't trust myself to keep this quiet, so I'll just let her figure out that he's a good guy on her own._

_She doesn't need me interfering in her life._

* * *

Cobra roared as he broke free of Virgo's chains. He wasted no time in scrambling from the ground and pushing Lucy out of his way so he could properly kick Macbeth in the face. "You're a sorry motherfucker!"

Lucy took a step back, watching in bewilderment as Cobra stormed off into the woods. He didn't try to pry his notebook from Macbeth's hands. He didn't look back at anyone. He just… left.

"Wait, so Cobra has a crush on Lucy?" Meredy whispered. "And he was following her because… he likes her?"

"That's creepy," Sorano huffed. "He knows it is."

"What if he was trying to keep her safe?" Gray mused.

"Being protective of her would make sense," Erza said. She stretched out a hand and help Macbeth slowly sit up. "If he has feelings for her, and he knows about…" She hesitated, glancing in Lucy's direction. "Well, I could understand why he would want to help her stay safe."

She ignored the hushed conversations after that. Was no one really going to follow him? Even though he was upset? Well, if no one else was that concerned, maybe she didn't need to be either. Except, she just… couldn't leave him all alone. She still didn't know for sure why he'd been following her. Was it only because he had feelings for her? Or was he just being a good person and trying to keep her safe? Had it started as him checking in on her? Did he worry about her?

And why had he been in her room?

She _really_ wanted to know the reasoning behind that one.

It was with that thought in mind that Lucy looked back at Macbeth and his bloody nose, and then to the notebook in his hand. She scowled and snatched it away from him.

"Hey, wait! I wasn't done reading-"

"It's rude," she said. "Reading his journal is bad enough, but out loud to other people? And with him right here in front of you?"

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it before he threw his little tantrum," Sorano said.

"I was shocked!" Lucy shouted, rounding on her. No, she didn't have time for this. If no one else was going to check on Cobra, then she would. She took a step in the direction he'd gone, then paused when she felt Natsu's warm hand tugging lightly at her wrist.

"Luce, I don't think you should go alone," he whispered.

"It's fine," she said. Thankfully, he let go when she took another step. "And if there's an emergency, you'll hear me scream."

With Cobra's journal in hand, Lucy walked out of the camp. She didn't notice the concern clouding Natsu's features, and she missed his whisper of, "That's what I'm worried about."

* * *

**So… This became a beast of a story. I got 14k into writing **_**this chapter**_**, and had to go back to find a good place to break it up. The next chapter is the final one for the story. I'm nearing the end of it already, so you can expect it to be posted in a couple days. I think it needs maybe one more scene to round it out.**

**Also… the prompt really doesn't fit with **_**this**_** chapter so much as the **_**next**_** chapter… Because I'd planned out where I was gonna put it, and then Cobra's journal entries kinda took center stage. But I wanted to finally get his point of view in the story. This was my plan for accomplishing that.**

**Day 7 of CoLu Week (which is painfully late, I know) will be posted in **_**Paging Dr. Cobra**_**.**


	5. CoLu Week 2019: Day 6, Grain Pt 2

**A/N: And now, for another chapter of this story that I never meant to continue past the first chapter. I'm so glad you guys have enjoyed this plot bunny. It's seriously taken control of my brain!**

* * *

**CoLu Week 2019  
Day 6, Part 2  
**_**Grain**_

* * *

Lucy paused in walking through the woods to look down at the notebook in her hands. She'd gotten on Macbeth's case about reading it when it was something Cobra had written for himself. It was supposed to be a safe place for him to reflect on his thoughts. She could tell, just based on the way he'd written in it. He asked questions he had no answers to. Maybe he was trying to sort out his thoughts, find answers himself.

But she knew that the things he'd written were supposed to stay a secret. Especially because he'd so openly written about the murder. And the fact that they'd kissed. And his feelings for her.

That was still hard to wrap her head around.

Cobra liked her. He liked her _a lot_ more than she'd thought.

She had questions of her own that she was sure could be answered if she just read the contents.

With a shake of her head, Lucy tucked the journal against her chest and kept walking. What he'd written was none of her business. She had to find him. Even if he wanted to be left alone, she needed to make sure he was okay.

Her nose wrinkled as she walked closer to a cluster of trees. Was that smoke? Wait… Her eyes widened and her steps fell quicker. It wasn't a forest fire. She recognized it! It was the same scent she'd caught that night at the hot spring, and when she followed it to where it was strongest, she found him.

Cobra sat at the base of a tree with a cigarette perched between his trembling fingers. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and his head was lowered, his forehead resting on his free hand.

He sniffled just before bringing the cigarette to his lips, took a deep, full drag, then breathed it out in a shuddering exhale. "Go away," he said. "Just leave me alone."

"Cobra," Lucy breathed. "Hey, it's okay."

"Just fucking go!"

Lucy jumped at the intensity of his shouted words, but then her grip on his journal tightened. She wasn't going to leave him alone. When she was scared and crying, he'd been there to talk to her. He'd helped her when he really had no reason that would benefit him. She knew that now. He'd done it simply because he was a nice person. Now it was her turn to be there for him. With a tender smile, Lucy knelt beside him.

"Are you fucking deaf?" he snapped, turning his face away from her. "I don't want you around."

"I know they call you Cobra for a reason," she said, reaching toward him, "But that doesn't mean-"

His hand holding the cigarette shot out and grabbed her wrist with nearly enough force to bruise her. Lucy winced, but then his hold shifted so he was simply cupping her wrist instead.

"It doesn't mean you should lie to me," she finished.

"Why the hell are you even here?" he sneered.

"I got your journal back." She carefully set it down on the ground between them, pulling her arm away from his still-shaking hand.

He sniffled again. "Why didn't you read it?" he muttered. She was silent as he took another drag of his cigarette, then continued speaking as smoke poured out from between his lips. "You wanted to."

"Because it's none of my business."

He scoffed and crushed the cigarette in the dirt. She couldn't see his eye, having come up on his right side. She couldn't see his tears, but she knew they were there. She watched the damning evidence drip off his chin and onto his pants. There really was no denying it. He'd run away from his guild and her team because of what Macbeth had done, and he'd cried.

Lucy couldn't imagine Cobra being one for crying over things. Especially not something like this.

"Judge all you fucking want," he said. "I don't give a shit."

"I'm not judging you," she said, her brows furrowed. Sure, it was surprising to see this side of him, especially when she knew so little about him. Lucy had always just assumed that he was like a lot of the people she'd met. Strong and confident. He'd sure seemed that way when he'd gone back to the hotel room with her and Darren. He'd seemed cocky, so sure of himself. And when she'd seen him at the hot spring years later, he'd known just what to say to her.

Had that all been an act, then?

He reached out for the notebook and flipped it open, thumbing through several pages until he found what he must have been looking for. Her eyes widened in shock when he held it out to her. Did that mean he wanted her to actually read part of his journal? Why would he do that?

"You wanna know," he said. "So here… Just read it."

Lucy carefully took the notebook from him, her head tilting with curiosity when, as soon as it was out of his hand, he curled further into himself. "Cobra, I don't have to-"

"Just fucking do it," he said. "You heard everything else. Might as well get the whole damn picture…"

Her frown deepened. She was kind of uncomfortable with this. It was obvious that he didn't want her knowing anything that was written in here, but he was still telling her to read it. It just didn't make sense.

Finally, she looked down at the page. The date at the top told her that he'd written it three months ago. When he'd still been following her. It was just before Natsu told her what Cobra was doing.

* * *

_I wish I could stop hearing her all the time. It's like her soul's calling out to me, because I'm the only one who can hear it. And that just makes me want to listen closer. But sometimes, it's hard. Sometimes, I'm too far away, and my feet move before I know what's happening, and then suddenly… she's there. Close enough for me to hear her, the things happening around her. And it's almost like I'm actually part of her life._

_It's stupid as fuck, thinking like that. I won't be part of her life. I can't. But I can keep an eye on the things around her, at least, and make sure she doesn't get hurt. I can't stop the world from being a shitty place to live, but I can at least try to make it so she doesn't have to suffer anymore._

_Last week, there was some creep who was just like that ex that I took care of. He saw an article about Lucy in Sorcerer's Weekly and recognized her. He was one of that asshole's friends, and he wanted to try his hand at "taming" her. I took care of it before she could even meet him. I didn't kill him, but I broke his leg. He never saw it coming._

_He looked so fucking terrified when he saw my face, and I told him that I was the one who killed his friend. I guess the way I'd said it… he believed me. Maybe it was the look on my face. Or the knife in my hand that I'd taken from his kitchen. But then he started thinking about how he wasn't the only one who was after Lucy. That there was another guy heading to her apartment. He didn't know when, though._

_I have to keep an eye on her apartment. I could just as easily tell her team or something, but they don't need to get involved. I'll handle the dirty work. She doesn't have to know about this shit._

_I just want her to feel safe enough to live._

* * *

"The next one, too," he said as she finished the journal entry.

Lucy was already enthralled, barely hearing what he'd told her as she flipped the page.

* * *

_I know it's weird, but I spent the night on top of her apartment building. I thought I heard something inside, and I went down and found her window was open. I only meant to be inside for a couple minutes. I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I hadn't seen that guy the other guy had talked about. I'd been listening all around the area, migraines be damned, and there's no sign of him._

_But I can't just leave her to figure out whether he was lying. It'd be my luck that someone would show up as soon as I leave._

_I'm glad I went in. I didn't find anything in her apartment, but I got to see her sleeping so peacefully in her bed. Her hair was a fucking mess, and she had the blankets wrapped around her like a cozy little cocoon. I didn't know she liked sleeping with her feet sticking out of the blanket._

_But then I knew I had to leave. I couldn't stay there longer. It's one thing for me to go in to look around and make sure everything's alright. It's something else entirely to watch her sleep. Part of me wishes I'd stayed, kept watching over her from right beside her bed so I could protect her from the monsters in the world. But I knew she'd hate it. She'd hate me if she found out what I've been doing._

_When I was leaving, I heard him coming closer. All he was thinking about was that he'd finally found her, and he was going to pay her back for his friend dying. He blamed her for it, kept thinking she was the lunatic who tore his friend to pieces._

_Maybe it makes me crazy, but I was excited. I wanted to show him the monster I could be. I wanted him to know that Lucy's innocent. And just because she doesn't have it in her to be cruel like some people deserve, doesn't mean there's not someone else who's willing to do it for her._

_I wanted to wait for the monsters to come to her, so I could fight them off, but instead… I became the monster they should be afraid of._

_I climbed back out of her window and made sure it was closed, then I found him. Creeping in an alley behind her apartment building. He hadn't hurt her yet, and for the first time… there was a voice telling me to temper myself. It sounded like her. It said that he hadn't done anything wrong, but he wanted to. I tried to reason with the voice. He wanted to hurt her. To make her pay for my sin._

_I couldn't let that little voice in the back of my head win this argument._

_I never want Lucy to know that there are people in the world who would want to hurt her. I never want her to know that I killed someone that hadn't done anything wrong. Maybe he would've chickened out and not been able to go through with it. There are people like that. They're all talk until it's time to do the deed, and then they can't bring themselves to do it. Maybe he was one of those people._

_But I can't take those chances. If there had been something in him that showed me he was a mildly decent person, maybe things would've been different._

_It's dawn now, and I've already washed his blood from my hands. It took a while to scatter his body parts where vultures would pick them clean before they were found by Rune Knights. But it's done, and she's still sleeping soundly. I'll leave when she wakes up. I want to make sure she's alright. I wanna know that she didn't hear anything that happened in the middle of the night, even subconsciously._

* * *

Lucy wasn't thinking as she turned the page to continue reading. She didn't notice how Cobra tensed when she started on the next entry. She had no idea he was staring at her in horror while her eyes trailed across the page, or that he couldn't bring himself to snatch the notebook away before she could read too much.

* * *

_I found something out today, and I feel like a creep for even knowing this. I would've rather she told me herself, than hearing it from her soul._

_I know what she wants in a boyfriend. Everything she's looking for. Someone who would hold her hand in public, because he's not ashamed of people knowing they're together. Someone who gives her gifts just because he wants to - like if he saw something in a store and it made him think of her. Someone who can accept gifts from her when the mood strikes. She wants someone spontaneous, but who knows how to plan things when it's necessary. She wants to be able to talk about her insecurities, and have him support her, build her up._

'_He has to tell me honestly whether I look like I took a nap in a dumpster, because then when he says I look nice, I'll know it's the truth.'_

_That made me laugh. Fuck, she's funny!_

_But she doesn't want a man who lies, or someone who will try to twist things in his favor all the time. She doesn't want a manipulative asshole. She wants someone who will make her laugh._

_Most importantly… she wants someone who will put as much into the relationship as she does._

_She thinks it's too much to ask for. That guys like that just don't exist. She's looking for Mr. Perfect in a world full of dumpster-fires. I guess she's not really wrong. No one's perfect. There's always something, deep down in their soul, that proves they're just as fucked up as the rest of the world._

_Even she isn't perfect. Granted, Lucy thinks worse of herself than she really should, but what happened to her has left its mark on her soul._

_What makes this whole thing even worse, is that I ended up comparing myself to what she wants. It was kinda sobering, though, because now I know just how little she'd like me._

_I don't have experience with any PDA. I've only ever had two girlfriends, and since I was locked up in prison or on the run for most of my life, it's not like I've ever really had the chance to date normally. Or for a long time. I've got a sense of humor that she probably wouldn't like either. Sure, I like teasing everyone, but she wouldn't like it. I couldn't tease her the way I normally do with Midnight or Angel. And I'm kind of a hoarder… If I lived in one place, I'd probably be a lot worse than I am now, because I'd actually have somewhere to keep everything. _

_It's stupid of me to want to show her the places I've hidden my stuff. Like some fucking squirrel burying nuts for winter. I just like knowing that, if I go back somewhere, I've got things that are mine…_

_But I do like giving people presents. They're weird, and a lot of the time, I think about someone when I see something, but I don't act on it. I gave Hoteye this rock that was so smooth and so perfectly oval, because it's the exact opposite of his stupid angular face. He smiled so fucking much when I tossed it at him, even though I was making fun of him. But I liked that he liked it. And I know that he knew why I was giving it to him, regardless of what I was saying out loud._

_He still has it in his pocket._

_But I've never gotten a gift from anyone before, so I don't know how I'd react. More than likely, I'd be too fucking embarrassed and say something stupid._

_She doesn't like liars, and I like to believe that I'm honest to a fault. But that's a lie, too. If I was really as honest as I wanna claim I am, then I wouldn't put up this tough guy front all the time. I'd actually let people see the real me. The truth is, I'm scared. All the time, really. I don't want people to get close to me, because then they'd see how much of a pussy I really am. If I was honest, I would've told her how I feel about her instead of writing it in here._

_This is the only place I have that I can say what I really want to, and I don't have to worry about anyone knowing the truth._

_I'm so afraid of failing, that I never take risks. I don't go out of my way to get into uncomfortable situations, because I don't wanna fuck up. The only reason I went out of my way to help her back then was because I didn't want her to be hurt anymore. I put on an act then, too. She still thinks I'm always confident like that._

_And even though I move around all the time, I'm a creature of habit. I always eat the same food. I just know what I like. Mushroom and swiss burger and fries. Every time we happen to eat out somewhere, that's what I want. And if not, a salad. You can't go wrong with a salad. Midnight gets on my ass about it all the time, and Meredy's always telling me to try new things, but I don't want to. I know what I like._

_But my biggest secret… The one thing I'd never tell her or anyone else… Is that I run away when I get scared of something. Not fights. I've been getting into fights my whole life. I know there's no running from those. But the things that really scare me... _

_The sound water makes when it drips from a faucet. It brings up bad memories._

_Waking up with no blanket. It brings up even worse memories._

_Bracelets. Those are the worst memories of all._

_Meeting new people. I'd have to let them get to know me._

_Talking about myself to anyone. People would hate me if they knew the real me._

_That's what scares me the most. Letting someone in and then they reject me. Turn me away._

_That's why I can never tell her about these stupid feelings of mine. She'd just reject me, and I don't want the heartache. I'd rather live without her ever knowing, than have her find out and tell me she's not interested. I know she's not. I don't need it confirmed._

_And in some fucked up alternate universe where we ended up together, I know I'd give the relationship my all. Even if I had a hard time opening up to her, I'd find a way. Because she's the kind of woman I'd want to fall in love with. Spend my life with. She could brighten my days with the song in her soul, just knowing that it was singing because I made her smile._

_I'd try so fucking hard to make her smile every day. And when I eventually did something to piss her off, I'd make it better. I'd probably turn into some pussywhipped bitch, but other people's perceptions of me wouldn't make a difference if I had a woman who loved me._

_I've never had that before. Fuck, I don't think I've ever told anyone I love them. I don't think I've ever loved anyone, except Cubellios. And no one's ever told me they love me. What does that feel like? Knowing there's someone out there in the world that loves you._

_Thinking about it hurts. It makes me so upset. Because there are people who get that so easily, and I can't. I don't know how. I wasn't raised to have things like that, and neither were the other Seis members. None of us know how to find love. It's why Angel dances around her feelings over Gray, but at least she tries. Racer and Hoteye don't even try, but they secretly want to find love. Midnight's the only one who's completely indifferent. I can't tell whether he's given up entirely and pushed it out of his head, or if he's just not wired that way._

_Not like it really matters. At least they've accepted things. At least they're not so scared of being turned down that they write in a fucking journal like some dewy-eyed tween in a sitcom. They're not pathetic, like I am._

_I fucking hate this. Why do I do this to myself?_

_I said I wouldn't think about her, and here I am, thinking about her all the time. Why can't I just have something nice in my life?_

_Right, because I'm a little bitch, and I don't deserve happiness._

_That's my lot in life._

* * *

_I love her. I figured out why I'm like this. Why she's always on my mind. I fucking love her! This is bad. This is really fucking bad. This is the worst fucking thing to ever happen in the history of ever._

* * *

Lucy gasped as Cobra ripped the notebook from her hands. "Wait!"

"You weren't supposed to read that," he said, tucking his journal back into his jacket. "Forget about it."

She frowned and moved to kneel in front of him. Lucy was beyond tired of staring at the side of his face and not being able to make eye contact. She preferred looking people in the eye when talking to them. It let her know they were listening, and actively participating in the conversation.

"Oh my god, fuck _off_!" Cobra turned his head to the side so she still couldn't look him in the eye.

"No," she said, her voice firm. He was the one who told her to speak up. He was the one who helped her find her confidence again. She was still working on it, but this time, she wasn't going to give up.

Apparently, that was all it took to get him to look at her again. His eye was wide, and she could see the tears still dotting his lashes. The drying moisture on his cheek. So he really only cried from his left eye. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered why that was. But she could think about that more later on.

"What did you write?" she asked.

"You were only supposed to read two of them," he said.

"Well, you didn't stop me."

"I-I couldn't…"

"Then tell me what the rest says," she said. "Why did you take it?"

"I don't want you to know," he breathed.

"It's a little late for that," she said with a gentle smile. "I know now. So tell me the rest." It was definitely a sight to see, the way his cheeks reddened the longer he looked at her. His blush even traveled across his nose.

"There's no point."

"There _is_ a point," she said, leaning closer just a fraction of an inch. Just that little movement had him going rigid. Wow, he really was scared. Had anyone ever seen him like this? The Cobra she'd come to know in bits and pieces didn't act like this at all. He was always so confident. But now that she'd read his journal, she knew the truth. It was all a façade to make people see him the way he wanted to be seen. "If you can't say it, then just read the rest to me."

Cobra shook his head, pushing himself flush against the tree when Lucy leaned forward a little more. "I-I…"

"I'll close my eyes," she laughed, sitting back on her heels. Lucy closed her eyes, just like she'd promised. "Now I can't see you. I'm gonna trust you not to run away, though."

They sat in silence, and all she could hear was the small, trembling breaths he took. He didn't move. He didn't even try to take his journal out of his jacket again. And maybe this was a bit forward, and maybe it was kind of selfish on her part, but she wanted to know. This was a side of him she'd never imagined existed. She wanted to know who he really was inside.

And sure, when she'd been reading, she'd gotten carried away and kept going. But it was fascinating, getting an inside look at the person she knew so little about. She'd learned so much just from reading his journal. Things he never would have told her, information he would never have willingly volunteered.

She wanted to know more about him.

Her smile widened when she heard him flipping pages in his journal. And when he started to read the rest of that particularly telling entry out loud, she soaked in the way his voice trembled as he finally laid it all out for her.

* * *

_I love her. I figured out why I'm like this. Why she's always on my mind. I fucking love her! This is bad. This is really fucking bad. This is the worst fucking thing to ever happen in the history of ever._

_Why did I have to fall in love with someone I can't be with?_

_She's too good for me. I can't tell her how I feel. Never._

_She's probably too nice to turn me down directly, but I won't put that on her. She doesn't know anything about me, and if I tried to tell her now… If I actually put effort into opening up to her, it'd be underhanded. I'd have a motive. Because I love her, I'd end up trying to get her to fall in love with me, too. I don't want to manipulate her feelings._

_Even if I know that she'd never push me to do things more than necessary, because she'd take my feelings into consideration. Even though I know she's smart, and she'd make me laugh, and surprise me from time to time - like that one time she'd cursed, it was precious. Even though I know that it wouldn't get on my nerves when she tried to dote on me like a mother, because she's not overbearing and she does it from a genuine concern over her loved ones' wellbeing. Even though I know that I'd be able to hold her in my arms and let her touch my scars, and I wouldn't be afraid of her hurting me, because she'd be so gentle with me… I know I could let her see this side of me, and she wouldn't berate me for it..._

_I can't tell her. I can't._

_I can't love her._

_I have to make this stop._

_I have to stop everything. Natsu figured out that I was following her, so I know she's being protected. He doesn't feel the same way about her that I do. He's just protecting his best friend. But now I know that she's taken care of, so I can keep my distance._

_Maybe it'll make it easier. Maybe I'll stop loving her if I don't have to keep an eye out to keep her safe._

…

_Who the fuck am I kidding?_

_I'm never gonna stop loving her. I'm doomed to a life of unrequited love, because I'm a fucking pussy._

_I hate this. I hate it. I hate that I love her. Why me? I'll never have a chance at happiness! Why does the universe fucking hate me?!_

* * *

"That's it," he finally sighed, slamming the notebook shut. Lucy's eyes slowly opened to find him glaring down at the leatherbound book. Did he hate himself more for having written it, now that the truth was out?

"Do you really hate that you-"

"Don't say it," he cringed. His grip on the journal tightened until his hand shook. "I should burn this stupid fucking thing. Then there's no evidence. And no one will know."

"But I already know," she said.

"And you can forget about it. It doesn't fucking matter."

"Why doesn't it matter?" Couldn't he see how much this really _could_ matter?

"Because, it doesn't. End of story." He tried to put the journal away, but Lucy reached out and grabbed his hand with both of hers. Cobra struggled to get her to let go, but she held tight. Why did he feel the need to bottle all of this up? Why couldn't he just be honest with her right then and there? She already knew the truth, so why did he have to keep trying to hide it? "Let go."

"No," she said.

"Let go of me," he spat, wrenching his arm away from her. Lucy's knees slipped on a bit of foliage that had fallen from the tree, and she crashed into his chest with a grunt.

When she looked up at his face, he looked as though she'd walked up to him with a meat tenderizer, ready to mash his testicles into a paste. He stopped breathing entirely, but she didn't. And when she inhaled, he still smelled the same as she remembered. The heady scent of woods and some dark spice that drifted from beneath the fur lining of his jacket. There was an added hint of tobacco lingering on his shirt. Oddly enough, it helped to keep her grounded in the moment. Because the last time she'd been this close to him, she'd been in a hotel room and he was about to poison her.

Would he poison her this time, too?

No, she knew he wouldn't. That had been his way of helping her ignore the murder happening on the other side of the bathroom wall. But now? There was nothing to protect her from.

Her lips pressed against his on a whim. She wasn't entirely sure what it was that propelled her forward, but once she felt his thin lips, heard his very un-Cobra-like squeak, she smiled. Something heavy and oppressive broke from within her chest when his hand still clutching at the journal fell to the ground.

There was no sickly sweet taste in her mouth this time. Not like the last time they'd kissed.

When she thought about it, she hadn't been like this with anyone since Darren had been killed. And her last kiss had been Cobra as well…

His lips twitched against hers, then parted on a gasp when she inched closer and buried her fingers in his hair. With a soft hum, her tongue snaked out and slithered across his lower lip. She felt brave for once. Daring. Her tongue retreated a moment later. If he didn't want this, then she wouldn't push. Maybe that's why he wasn't kissing her back.

Oh god… What had she done?

The realization that she'd never really asked if it was okay to begin with hit her like a freight train. He'd written in his journal that he loved her, but that didn't mean this was alright! Was that why he wasn't responding? He couldn't figure out how to make her stop without hurting her feelings?

She was an idiot!

His tongue speared between her lips just before she pulled away, and his hand wrapped around the back of her head, canting it to the side just enough to deepen the kiss. It left her lightheaded, the way he kissed her so desperately.

Was this what he held back before?

Was this familiar heat spreading in her belly and out to the tips of her fingers all his doing? The way his other arm wrapped around her waist to pull her closer should have made her lock up, but the fear wasn't there. He held on as though she was the balm to soothe an ache in his soul, like a grain of sand that would be blown away by the slightest breath and he didn't want to lose her.

She should have been scared of the intensity of his emotions as they poured out of him and right into her. He held her so tightly to himself, as though she might disappear. Was he really afraid of that, or was she just imagining it?

The things she'd learned about him should have made her worried. He'd followed her around, but… he'd wanted to keep her safe. And sure, he'd developed feelings for her that were much more intense than what she felt where he was concerned. She knew that. But that was because he knew her better than she knew him.

Maybe she'd feel the same way, one day, when she knew him just as well.

The kiss ended abruptly, with Cobra ripping his mouth from hers. It confused her when he pushed her back just enough to give them space to breathe.

"Fuck," he rasped. "Did I hurt you?"

"Huh?"

"Please don't fucking cry because of me," he said, his words spilling from him in a rush. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fucking kissed you."

She blinked and brought her fingers to her cheek. He was right. There were tears there, clear as day. But she hadn't known she was crying. How had she not realized it? But she wasn't sad. She wasn't hurt. There was no reason for her to cry right then.

She felt happier than she had in a long, long time. Was that it?

"I'm so sorry," he said again. "I-I told you, it doesn't matter. Just forget about what I wrote, okay?"

"Cobra-"

"I'll forget about it too," he continued. He pushed her back a little more, then shifted so he wasn't pinned to the tree any longer. She sniffled when he snatched his journal off the ground and hurriedly shoved it into his jacket. "I'll leave you alone, too. You don't have to worry. I won't follow you anymore."

"Cobra, wait-"

"I've gotta go," he said. Cobra scrambled to his feet. Was he running away from her? She sniffled again, and her tears came more forcefully. God, why couldn't she stop crying now? Even when Lucy roughly rubbed her eyes, she couldn't stop. "I'm so stupid! God, Lucy, I'm sorry…"

"Cobra, stop!" He froze before he could actually take a step, turning to look back down at her. His eye widened even further when he took in her appearance.

"I really am a piece of shit," he muttered under his breath.

"I'm happy," she said. She stood and brushed the dirt from her knees, then grabbed his hand tightly with both of hers. "I promise, I'm happy. You didn't do anything wrong."

It was clearly written across his features that he didn't believe her.

"You love me," she said, watching as he cringed. Lucy smiled up at him. "It's okay to feel that way. It doesn't mean you have to run away."

"I'm not running away," he snapped, his feet shuffling back. "Just forget about it, okay? You didn't have to kiss me, and I shouldn't have fucking kissed you back. You don't have to do anything just because you found out."

But what if she wanted to?

His shoulders slumped in defeat as he looked at the ground. "Nothing has to change. It's stupid to hope for anything different…"

Lucy's brows furrowed. He sounded so sad. So broken. She knew the timid tremor in his voice that he was trying to bury. He didn't want to get hurt. She understood that. The past few years had been spent with her trying to hide, to protect herself from being hurt. "Why are you putting your own feelings below mine?" she asked.

"I'm not."

"You are, though. You're the one who told me that I didn't have to feel like I was less than someone else."

"Because-"

"But you're not taking your own advice. Your feelings are just as important. And you love me."

She was nearly offended by the disgust written across his face as he turned away from her slightly.

"Just accept it. I know now, and it's okay." She let him go when he crossed his arms. Maybe that was just his defense mechanism, a way to keep himself closed off from the people around him. When she took a step closer, Lucy took a chance. She reached up and placed her hands on his biceps, then gently massaged them. He was so tense, and her touching him only had him tensing up more, but she noticed how the corners of his lips twitched in a smile that he bit back a moment later. "There's nothing wrong with you feeling this way."

"I don't wanna feel any kind of fucking way," he sneered. "I shouldn't. Especially not with _you_."

Honestly, that stung. But she had to remind herself that he didn't mean it in a negative way about her. He thought pretty highly of her - not that she understood why - so it had to mean that he thought he wasn't good enough. She remembered reading that. "Who says you shouldn't?" she countered. "And since when do you listen to what anyone tells you to do?"

He snarled as his head snapped back, a heavy glare darkening his features. Reading his journal had severely changed the way she looked at him already. Instead of being scared, she just smiled up at him.

"Be honest with me," she said. "Are you acting like this because you're scared?"

If his jaw tensed any more, he was going to break his teeth. She was sure of it.

"If you'd told me how you felt-"

"Don't say things would've been different," he ground out. "You don't know that."

"And you don't know either," she said. "What I do know is that the last time I kissed someone, it was you. And I haven't been able to bring myself to even kiss a guy on the cheek since then. But today, with you… I could. I wasn't scared of being hurt."

He crossed his arms more tightly over his chest.

"I've trusted you for a long time," she said. "When I needed help, you were there for me."

"That doesn't make me some selfless fucking saint."

"I never said you were," she laughed. "I don't need to know all the intricacies of how you came to the decision to help me. What matters is that you did. You've always hovered just outside of my reach. I never know when I'll see you again, and it makes me appreciate the times that I do see you."

"It shouldn't. Nothing good can come from you being associated with me."

"I'm sure that's what you want me to believe," she said. Her eyes closed as a soft breeze rustled the leaves above them, kissing her skin with a coolness that hinted at the coming autumn weather. "That night that we talked, you really did make me happy. Just because you gave me advice. Because I wasn't ready to open up about it to my friends. But I could still talk to you. You already knew."

When she looked at him again, Lucy felt heat rising to her cheeks.

"I'll admit, I was a little weirded out when Natsu told me what you were doing, but that's because I didn't understand why," she said. "But you were trying to make sure I was alright. And even though you started having feelings for me, you always made sure you didn't interfere in my life."

"There's no point," he said. His voice was softer though, and she noticed that his posture was less rigid.

"You were even willing to put your feelings to the side to tell me that Thomas was a good guy, and I should really give him a chance," she added.

"He was good for you," he muttered. "Better than I could ever hope to be."

"Cobra," she laughed, "You really should give yourself more credit."

"Yeah, well, I know what you're thinking, and it'd never work."

Lucy raised a challenging brow at him. "And what am I thinking?"

He heaved a great sigh through his nose, and when she lightly tapped his forearms, he uncrossed them. She must have surprised him when her fingers trailed down his arms and twined with his, because he couldn't stop staring at their joined hands.

She rather liked the way it felt when his calloused thumbs brushed over the backs of her hands.

"I don't ask for much," she said, taking a small step closer. She wasn't quite flush against him, but she was close enough to feel the heat from his chest. "Just this…"

She knew he wasn't used to public displays of affection, but handholding wasn't too much to ask in her opinion. It was all she'd been comfortable with for so long, she'd grown to like the comfort it provided.

"You'd want more," he said. "I can't give that to you. That's why I stayed away."

"You didn't do a very good job of it, considering how often Natsu smelled you nearby." She wanted to laugh when she noticed the pointed tips of his ears had turned a bright pink. "Why is it you think you're no good?"

"Just how I was raised, I guess," he muttered. "Not like it matters anyway. You don't love me, and you're only thinking about this shit because you found out…"

She hadn't really taken notice of how much taller than her Cobra was until that moment. Lucy had to tip her head back to really look at him, now that she was standing so close. "You do realize that people don't start dating because they're already in love, right? It's something that grows over time."

"And how would you know I'm not just manipulating shit to make you fall for me?" he asked, frowning down at her.

"Because if you really loved me, you'd want me to love the real you. Not what you think you have to make others believe you are." Lucy smirked then. "And wouldn't it be better if there was someone in the world you felt like you could really be yourself around?"

Sure, she was asking him that, but it was only because she felt the same way. What she really wanted was someone she could be herself around, on the good days and the bad. Her bad days were coming less and less often, but they still happened. She wanted to have someone in her life who could take those bad days in stride.

"And what about me not being around all the time?" he asked. "I won't give up the life I chose for anyone."

Lucy shrugged. "I don't expect you to," she said. "That would be like you asking me to leave Fairy Tail. Not happening, buster."

Her eyes narrowed with obviously feigned menace, but he laughed. He well and truly laughed at her poor attempt at being threatening. Lucy couldn't remember if she'd ever heard him laugh before, not quite like this. She rather liked how it sounded.

Sure, it would suck not being able to see him whenever she wanted, but Erza made it work with Jellal. Clearly, it was possible.

"You're too optimistic," he whispered. She couldn't be offended by the comment when he was smiling down at her like this. It was a nice change from the mess he'd been when she found him sitting by the tree. "There's a lot that can go wrong."

"So we'll be proactive and come up with solutions to problems before they pop up," she said. Lucy's smile widened slightly and she stepped back, still holding his hands. "In fact, we should do that right now."

"And why is that, exactly?" he chuckled, following her as she took another step backward.

"Well, my team came this way to figure out why you were following me around. And Erza wants to spend time with Jellal," Lucy reasoned. "We already figured out the former, and-"

"Oh fucking hell," he groaned, rolling his eye. "They're in the process of stripping down right now… Everyone else has already scattered."

"Precisely," she laughed. "I'm used to it with Erza. She can only hold out for so long when they're together. It's… kind of unnerving."

"You're telling me," he muttered. "One thing, though."

She hummed, then squeaked when he shot forward and wrapped his arms around her, pinning her hands to her lower back. "C-Cobra?"

"Please tell me I can kiss you again," he rasped. He smirked when her breath hitched, but didn't move otherwise. He waited, even though she was positive that her soul was shrieking its agreement. He waited, even when she nodded.

"Yes," she breathed. "Definitely."

His feral grin sent chills down her spine as he swooped in to claim her lips. But he was gentle with her, tender as he brought her hands up to his chest. Cobra cupped her cheek when he deepened the kiss.

And Lucy had a feeling that, if she wasn't careful, her legs were going to give out. The last thing she needed was to make a fool of herself and topple to the ground just from kissing him.

"Don't worry," he hummed against her lips with a grin, "I'll catch you."

* * *

**Yeah, this was supposed to be the end, but then... I decided to go with an epilogue as a separate chapter. I had the final scene of the story ready to go right here with a time skip. But then... I thought you guys might like a bonus chapter. For those who aren't interested in fluffy epilogues, treat this as the end. Otherwise, I'll see you guys here again soon!**


	6. Epilogue

**A/N: I have literally no excuse for this, aside from wanting to add more. This is an added bonus for you guys, just because you're such an amazing audience. Come get your fill of cavity-inducing fluff with this completely unnecessary epilogue.**

**For those who are waiting for Day 7 of CoLu Week… sorry about the wait. I wanted to get this plot bunny finished up so I could focus on the next story. Day 7 of CoLu Week 2019 will appear in _Paging Dr. Cobra_. Now, let's see how this baby ends!**

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

* * *

He didn't see her for three weeks after they'd silently agreed to start dating. That had been an awkward fucking meeting, completely by chance while they'd been on different missions. He'd only had a chance to see her for thirty minutes before he'd had to leave. And now it had been another five weeks, and he hadn't seen or heard from her. It left Cobra wondering, as he stared at the ceiling of his tent at sunrise, how this was even going to work while they were apart. Did she think about him? Probably not as much as he thought about her. She didn't love him. He knew that.

Why had he agreed to this shit, again?

Right, because it was Lucy, and she wanted to try dating again. With him. Because he was, according to her inner monologue when she'd been preparing to talk Erza down from a cliff as they walked back to his guild's camp, _"handsome and sweet, and he was only following me so he could keep me safe, and I want to know what it's like to have a boyfriend who loves me."_

Lucy hadn't needed to say any of those things. When they got back, Erza took one look at their linked hands, and just smiled.

He wondered if the real reason Lucy was even giving him a chance was because of his feelings for her, and not because she harbored any feelings for him whatsoever. Was it really enough for her that she thought he was handsome? And when the hell had she come to that decision? He'd never heard her thinking about anything remotely close to that.

They'd talked about how things could work, with them being apart so much. Well, it was more of Cobra telling her everything that could go wrong, and Lucy trying to use her silver lining perspective to work around his negativity.

Fuck, how was she even willing to deal with that?

He wasn't pleasant to be around. She was going to realize that pretty quickly, unless he started forcing himself to act differently when she was around. But that was what he'd been talking about when he brought up manipulating her. And Lucy didn't want him to be someone else. She wanted him to be himself with her, the good and the bad.

This wasn't going to fucking last.

"Ooh, visitors!" Meredy crooned from somewhere in the camp. He froze. "Lucy, Cobra's over there in his tent. It's still pretty early, so he's usually not out and mingling just yet."

"O-Oh," Lucy laughed. She sounded nervous. Cobra frowned. Why would she be nervous? "I don't need to go wake him up. I'll just wait out here."

Fuck. That was why? She didn't want to intrude on his space, and wake him up? Well, he could pretend to still be sleeping, or he could make his way out there. But then people would know he was awake, and they'd want to know why he hadn't come out sooner. He didn't want anyone knowing that he woke up early every morning and just stared at his tent while he got lost in thought, until his bladder begged to be emptied.

But if he pretended to be asleep, then he wouldn't get as much time with her.

But if he went running out there, he'd look too desperate to see her. Like some pathetic little lapdog with its tail wagging as soon as its owner came home.

But if he stayed in the tent, and she found out that he was awake… she'd think he didn't want to see her.

He did want to see her. So fucking badly.

It was other people he didn't want to be around. Not this early in the morning.

But if he didn't say something soon, then they'd wonder how he knew what was going on unless he was already awake. And then it'd be twenty fucking questions, and his whole day would be shot. "I'm up," he called out.

"See?" Meredy laughed. "He's awake, Lucy. You're not waking him up."

"B-But, Meredy - wait, don't push - _Ack_!"

Cobra sat up quickly and caught the blonde hurtling through the flap on his tent. Lucy crashed into his chest, face-first. He'd forgotten until he felt her skin against his that he was shirtless. The summer heat had come back in full force in the past few days - even though it was nearing winter already - so he'd been sleeping with no shirt on lately. It wasn't really the norm for him.

Of fucking course she was here when he was shirtless. The universe hated him.

"Oh geez, I'm sorry," she mumbled, scrambling to put a little distance between them. Except then she put her hands on his stomach, and he could _feel_ her face heating up as realization finally clobbered her over the head. "You're u-um… Wow, and I…"

Cobra's hands moved to her shoulders and gently pushed her back, which was a blessing and a curse. Because now that she wasn't on him, touching so much of his skin, she _was_ able to _stare_ at him.

"Sorry," she squeaked, coming back to herself. Lucy threw a hand over her eyes, which just made this whole thing worse. Because he could hear her thinking about the color of his skin, and how much she liked it, and that she was being silly because he was a guy and she saw the guys at the guild shirtless all the time - except it wasn't when they were basically in bed, so this was much more intimate. But his brain kept telling him that she was looking away for a different reason. That she was disgusted by him.

This was stupid. Them trying to be together was stupid. He could hear what she was really thinking, but he still believed that dark void in his soul.

Cobra glanced around the small space to find his shirt - there wasn't much to begin with when he was lying down, and with Lucy here, it was starting to feel cramped. The black fabric of his tank top was the first thing he saw, so he grabbed it and threw it on as quickly as possible. He hesitated to reach up to her hand and pull it away from her eyes, but when he did he saw her blush receding, dulling to a gentle pink.

Her eyes opened slowly, meeting his gaze and not looking anywhere else. "Good morning," she breathed.

He couldn't stop himself from chuckling. "Morning."

"Sorry we showed up so early," she said. Lucy tucked her bangs behind her ear and winced. "Erza made us take the first train out at quarter to five this morning."

"You must be exhausted."

"Kinda," Lucy giggled. He didn't even know what time it was. He never really knew the actual time. Cobra just used a general approximation based on the sun or moon's position in the sky. Almost as though she'd read _his_ mind, Lucy's fingers brushed across a silver key on her hip. "It's only six right now."

"That's way too early to be awake," he groaned. Fuck, had he been waking up around six every morning? No wonder he was always tired.

"I couldn't agree with you more," she sighed. "I don't like being out of bed until nine, at the earliest."

"Well, there's nothing happening today," he mused, frowning as he listened to the rest of his guild's souls. This meeting was set up by Jellal and Erza, and it would have been like any other time she randomly fucking appeared if she hadn't also dragged Lucy along. Because normally, Erza would show up on her own. But since he and Lucy were dating, Erza had made a point of bringing her.

"Seriously?" Lucy groaned. "Ugh, she made it seem like some dire emergency."

She almost made it sound like she didn't want to be there. Was that the case? Did she really not want to come at all?

'_I was in such a rush to get going. I must look like a mess. Way to make a good impression, Lucy.'_

Cobra blinked and stared at her. That was it? She didn't look bad at all in her black shorts and pale grey midriff shirt. He'd seen her looking much worse. Like the day she'd been running barefoot through town, trying to get to safety, with her hair a mess and a bruise already forming on her face from Darren bashing her head into a window. But he couldn't say that. He didn't want to keep bringing up bad memories, except… that was all they really shared. It was all they had in common. Pain and suffering, in different degrees. Was that really going to help make something work between them?

"Oh well," Lucy sighed, then reached into her bag. "At least I remembered to grab this." When she held a small black box out to him, Cobra was confused. What the fuck was that for? "Well, go on," she laughed. "Take it. It's for you."

For him? What the hell did she mean, it was for him? Cobra looked from the box still in her hand up to her face, then back to the box. "Huh?"

"It's a gift," she said gently. _'I remember he wrote in his journal that he's never gotten a gift. Maybe I'm overstepping… Was this a bad idea?'_

"O-Oh," he said. He took the box from her and stared at it. Was he supposed to open it now?

"Go on," she said. "Take a look. I really hope you like it."

Cobra pulled the top off the box, then frowned at what he found inside. A smaller shining black box about the size of a Zippo sat nestled in the center of red foam, with two clear rubber plugs in their own little cut-out sections of the foam. Lucy reached forward and tapped the smaller box, and a screen lit up. "What is it?"

"It's a soundpod," she said. "This is one of the newer models. All the music is stored in this box, and then you put the little buds in your ears." Her finger swiped across the screen, and he watched the text change. "It holds about 15,000 songs. Oh, and the earbuds have a charm on them so if they're taken more than ten feet away from the soundpod, they'll fly back to it. Pretty cool, right?"

Cobra nodded, still staring down at the box. "So it… plays music."

It was a strange gift, that was for sure. Maybe she didn't know how his magic really worked, and that was why she got this for him. He was always listening to something. He could never get the sound to stop, actually. Putting these little things in his ears would only add more sound to his already mostly overloaded brain.

"It's probably kinda silly," she said. It didn't take an ounce of magic to hear the underlying _'he hates it'_ in her voice. "I know Laxus always listens to music, because it drowns out all the extra noise in the guild. Gajeel's always complaining about people being too loud, too. I figured it's probably a Dragon Slayer thing. And I didn't know what kind of music you might like, so I had the man at the shop put a little of everything on it."

'_Oh my god, you're rambling. Shut up, Lucy. He doesn't like it, so stop trying to defend the stupid thing. I knew this was a bad idea when I bought it. I should've talked to him about it first. I'm so stupid…'_

Cobra's frown deepened, and he plucked one of the earbuds from the foam, then put it next to his ear. He could barely hear a thing. The sound on it was so low, he had to put the little bit of rubber into his ear just to hear it. It wasn't too loud. That was something he'd worried about, in all honesty.

"I made sure to turn the volume way down," she added, her voice barely audible. "I didn't want it to hurt your ears from being too loud."

Cobra's nose scrunched as he listened to the music playing. He didn't know what it was, but he hated it. Something with way too much pep, that was for sure. "How do I change the song?"

Lucy's head lifted as he pulled the soundpod out of the box, her smile growing wide when she noticed that he was already listening to something. "Like this," she said. She leaned forward slightly and swiped her finger over the screen again. "And if you want something completely different, press down and wait for the menu to pop up."

Cobra pressed on the screen, watching as the text changed. He read through the options, and nearly passed one that said _Nature_. On a whim, he clicked on it. The text changed again to read _Ocean_.

There was a sudden rush of waves crashing on a stony shore in the earbud. Wind whistled by and seagulls cawed in the distance.

"Oh, I love those tracks," she whispered, reading the screen. Cobra looked up at her gently smiling face, then felt his cheeks heating up when he took the other earbud and carefully pushed it into her ear.

"Listen with me?" he asked.

"This is gonna put me to sleep, though," she giggled. "I listen to this stuff at night, sometimes."

"Then let's get some sleep," he chuckled.

Lucy blinked. "R-Right now?"

Cobra shrugged and set the black box off to the side, tucking the soundpod into the pocket in his pants. "Why not? We're both tired. And everyone out there can go fuck off. It's too early to deal with their bullshit."

Holy shit. He'd just invited her to sleep next to him. This was insane. Was she actually going to say yes? And where the hell had this bright idea come from?! He wasn't ready for this shit in the slightest! Oh, he was a moron of epic fucking proportions.

She snorted out a sharp laugh, then nodded.

Wait… she'd agreed? Fuck, she'd actually agreed to this. Cobra had to get his shit together, because this was moving much faster than he'd anticipated, and he wasn't sure whether to punch himself in the fucking mouth, or send his thanks out to the drunk gods who were letting it happen.

It took a little work to get themselves adjusted in the cramped space of his tent, but eventually they were lying side by side, with her head on his shoulder and her body pressed up against him. He nearly froze when her arm draped itself over his stomach.

Finally, when they were settled, he let out a slow, relaxed breath. This gift actually wasn't half-bad. It did help to cut out some of the background noise that was constantly buzzing in his skull. He wasn't sure he'd be able to use both earbuds at the same time, though, because he did have to stay on guard constantly. Especially when they were camping out in the woods.

Maybe he could try it the next time they splurged on a motel room.

'_... can't believe I'm going to sleep with him… he's so comfy… never snuggled with someone like this before… feels nice…'_

"Thank you," he whispered, turning his head to kiss her hair. "For the present. I'll probably use this all the time." When she smiled and hid her face in his chest, Cobra couldn't help but grin. He'd made her happy, just by being himself. She was so cute when she got embarrassed like this.

Maybe this dating thing wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * *

It happened in an instant. One moment, she was perfectly fine, cutting up onions to put in the dinner she was making for Cobra, Macbeth, and Meredy. Their guild had been in the area, and she'd told Cobra to stop by if he had time, and that she'd even be willing to give him a nice home-cooked meal of meatloaf and potatoes and steamed broccoli. Meredy had heard him making the plans, and ended up inviting herself and Macbeth along - much to Cobra's chagrin, Lucy found out - but she was more than happy to cook for all of them.

Meredy was looking through her music to put something on that wouldn't put Macbeth to sleep, and wasn't too obnoxious for Cobra's tastes.

"Just put on some jazz," Cobra had said.

Everything was fine. Meredy put the music on, and turned it to a decent volume for everyone to be comfortable and still have conversation. Lucy smiled softly to herself in the kitchen. She hadn't listened to this CD in years. When she thought back, she'd been making meatloaf the last time she'd heard the soft double-bass introduction on this song.

And suddenly, it wasn't fine. The song skipped in the same place it always did from when Darren had scratched the CD while throwing it at her, and her breath stalled in her lungs. She wasn't paying attention, and the knife sliced into the juncture between her thumb and forefinger. Lucy hissed and looked down, and then it hit her.

She was bleeding. She was bleeding on the food she was supposed to cook. The meal was ruined. No… No, the meal couldn't be ruined. She couldn't be bleeding on it. He would hit her if he found out. She had to get another onion. She had to throw this away. She had to clean the cutting board and start again, and cut faster than before because if he found out that she was running behind, it would be even worse.

But Lucy couldn't move. She couldn't stop staring at the thin red trails running down her finger, into the palm of her hand as the singer crooned in the background. How deep was the cut?

Why couldn't she breathe? Was she crying from the pain? Maybe she could play it off as being a result of cutting onions. No one could know she'd cut herself. If it was too bad, he'd blame her for doing it on purpose to ruin his meal.

"Everything alright?" Cobra asked, frowning over at the kitchen doorway. Lucy didn't answer. She didn't hear him. She didn't hear the water boiling over on the stove behind her, but she smelled the water burning on the stove top.

No. No, not again. He'd hurt her if she burned something. He could taste it in the food if something got even slightly burned while she was cooking. Ruining the meal with her blood was bad enough, she had to go and burn it too? No… this couldn't be happening...

Macbeth's eyes opened slowly to look at Cobra. "Lucy?" he called out.

She trembled when she heard her name.

"Shit, is that blood?" Cobra snarled. He jumped up from the couch and rushed into the kitchen. And that was where he found her staring at her bleeding hand on top of the cutting board, the knife still in her other hand.

She heard the footsteps. Lucy knew what was coming next. He was going to hurt her again. She'd made a mistake, but that didn't matter. It was her fault. She was so stupid. She couldn't even do something as simple as cooking a meal, or cutting a vegetable without messing it up. Maybe she deserved to get hit.

Cobra came closer and touched her shoulder just as Midnight walked into the kitchen behind him. Lucy screamed and swung the knife, gasping a moment later when he knocked it out of her hand. The metal clattered to the floor and she stumbled backward until he grabbed her wrist. "L-Let go!"

Macbeth pushed past and turned down the stove, staring as Cobra let her hit him with her bloody hand. "What the fuck?!"

As soon as her hand connected, Lucy froze. She'd hit him. She'd really hit him. This wasn't going to end well. It was going to be even worse! Why had she done that? "I-I'm sorry, sir," she sniffled, closing her eyes tightly and turning her head away. He wanted her to make eye contact, she knew, but she couldn't look at him. She didn't want to see the hit coming. That always made it worse. "I didn't mean to… I just… I'm sorry!"

Cobra sighed softly and pulled her bleeding hand up in front of his face.

"I ruined the food. I'm sorry…" He couldn't be too mad if she promised to make it better though, right? That had to work! Maybe he wouldn't hit her as hard if she just fixed this fast enough. "I'll clean it up. I'll make new food, it's okay. It might take a little bit, but-"

"Midnight, get me a clean rag," he said. "She's bleeding."

"What the hell happened?" Macbeth asked, passing him a cloth from the counter.

Cobra shook his head, wrapping the cloth around her hand. He put a little more pressure on the wound. "Lucy, it's okay," he whispered. "It's okay, I'm here."

"- I'm such a klutz. I know, I am," she rambled. Her chest was tight with worry. Why wasn't he hitting her yet? Was he going to scare her with wondering how long it would be before he did something? "I-I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make a mess…"

"Cobra, what the hell's going on-"

Cobra scowled over at Macbeth, then pulled Lucy into his arms even when she struggled to get free of his hold. "He's not here," he said. "Lucy, I'm not him. It's okay. I won't hurt you."

Macbeth's eyes widened, and he took in how small she looked as Cobra's arms wrapped more tightly around her. Even through her vain attempts at getting free, he could see the fear coiling around her.

The dark spicy scent of him was what brought her back to reality. The warmth and strength of his arms around her, his chest against her cheek, the tender way his chin rested atop her head. The terror that clutched at her lungs hadn't dissipated, but she knew this touch. It was safe. It didn't give her pain.

"It's okay," Cobra breathed. "It's just me. I won't hurt you."

"C-Cobra?"

"That's right. It's just me, beautiful," he said, smiling down at her.

What had just happened? Why was he holding her like this? Why… Lucy's eyes widened in horror, and she looked up at his face to see a bloody handprint on his cheek. She'd hit him. She was bleeding, and she'd hit him… because he was trying to help her. Because she'd been stupid enough to imagine it was Darren there in her apartment, instead of Cobra.

Her lips trembled at the realization that, even though she'd hit him, he hadn't hurt her. He hadn't hit her back. He didn't tell her _'if you hit like a man, you get hit like one,'_ and then punch her. He'd stopped her from cutting him with the knife, but his grip on her injured hand wasn't tight enough to cause pain.

Lucy knew how strong Cobra was. She'd seen what he could do when going toe-to-toe with Natsu years ago, and she knew he'd only gotten stronger since then. He'd held his own in a fight against Erza, for goodness sake. But none of that physical strength was there when he touched her. He didn't try to incapacitate her. His touch was gentle. So gentle it brought another fresh wave of tears to her eyes that had no chance of being held back.

She cried and buried herself in his embrace. He didn't say a thing, but she didn't need him to. He just held her close, kept applying pressure to her injured hand. She just needed _him_ so she could remember that all the pain in the past was gone, and she was safe and happy now, right there, with his arms around her.

Something within her shattered when he kissed the top of her head and finally spoke.

"Can I look at your hand?" he asked.

He didn't force her to show him. He let her choose for herself. But Lucy knew she couldn't look at it herself. She wouldn't be able to tell whether it would need stitches or just a bandage. She simply nodded.

Cobra turned and led her through the kitchen, past Macbeth who was keeping an eye on the stove instead of watching her. "Is there a recipe you were using?" Cobra asked her.

It was the bookmarked one in the open cookbook on the counter. She'd put her own notes in the margins for how she'd changed the recipe. She still had to mix the onions into the beef, then add the crushed wheat crackers. But she couldn't find the will to speak. She was too embarrassed now. Why had she flipped out like that? It wasn't the first time she'd cut her hand while chopping vegetables. So why had this time been different?

"On the counter, and follow her notes. Onions and crackers are where she left off," Cobra said to Macbeth. He led Lucy into the living room and helped her sit down on the couch. He looked at Meredy, whose eyes were wide and horrified when she took in Lucy's harrowed appearance. "Go get the first aid kit," he told her. "It's under the kitchen sink. And then help Midnight not burn the food."

Meredy nodded quickly and rushed out of the room.

It was just Lucy and Cobra in the living room. She'd made a complete fool of herself in front of everyone. As if it wasn't bad enough that she'd acted like this with company over in the first place, she'd attacked her boyfriend. Cobra loved her, and she'd tried to cut him with a knife. She'd hit him. How was she supposed to get through the rest of the night? Was she supposed to just pretend nothing happened?

"That usually makes it worse," he said. Meredy dropped off the first aid kit, pausing a moment and looking as though she wanted to say something, then returned to the kitchen to help Macbeth when Cobra shook his head at her. "Don't bottle it up."

"There must be something wrong with me," she laughed. It was easier to bottle it up, though. Didn't he know that? "It's just a cut… I shouldn't have gotten so hysterical…"

She cringed when he pulled the rag away from her hand, and fresh blood seeped from the deep gash. That looked really, really bad. Which meant she was going to have to go to a hospital, or call up Wendy, and then her whole night would be ruined. She wouldn't get to spend any time with Cobra. All of their plans would go right out the window, all because she couldn't stay focused.

She was so stupid.

"I can give you stitches right here," Cobra said gently. He already knew that Wendy had beefed up Lucy's first aid kit, in case of emergencies. Maybe he even carried some of his own. "Pretty sure Meredy keeps painkillers on her, too."

"You don't need to-" Lucy's mouth snapped shut when he frowned at her. Was he going to yell at her now? She froze. Was this the last straw for him with her talking back?

"Remember what I told you?" he asked, his voice gentle. "Speak up. Don't be afraid of telling me something's wrong."

"I just got distracted…"

He shook his head and set her hand on his leg on top of the bloody rag, then reached over to open up the first aid kit. He rummaged through it for a minute before finding the needle and thread Wendy had added for emergencies. "You can be honest with me," he said softly, threading the needle. "It's not my first go-round with panic attacks."

"I-I wasn't-"

"And flashbacks," he said with his own pain shining in his eye. She hissed when he punctured her skin and fed the thread through, then tied the first of her stitches. "I won't make you talk about it unless you want to, but just remember that I'm here, okay? I'll listen whenever you're ready."

"It's stupid," she sighed. She watched him hesitate a moment before pushing the needle into her skin again. She knew that she could talk to Cobra. He was the first person to know about the pain she'd gone through, and he'd been the one to put an end to it when she was too weak to do it herself. He could hear it from her soul anyway, so she knew that he was telling her to talk when she was ready for her own sake. He already knew exactly what had been going through her head.

She had to remember that Cobra was safe. Even with the cold dread snaking its way through her body, chilling her fingers and toes to near-numbness, she had to remember. Cobra meant safety. Cobra meant warmth and love. He wasn't Darren. They were nothing alike.

It was okay for her to be weak around him, to lean on him. She knew that. She just hated that she was always the one leaning on him. Lucy never did anything to help him when he needed it. She never knew if he actually needed help in the first place.

Still… talking things out might help.

"He's been gone so long now," she breathed as he flipped her hand over and continued stitching her wound. Wow, she'd really hurt herself this time. "I shouldn't still be like this."

"Do you know what caused it?" he asked. "If we can figure that out, then we can make sure it doesn't happen again until you can deal with it."

"I dunno…"

Cobra smiled tenderly at her. "Sometimes it's hard to figure out a trigger," he said. "It took me a long time to figure out mine." She was officially confused. What did he mean by that? "Do you remember what I wrote about the things I'm afraid of?"

"They bring back bad memories," she said, frowning up at him. Lucy bit her lips when he tied the next stitch and pulled too hard.

"Dripping water, sleeping without a blanket, and having anything on my wrists."

Lucy's gaze shifted down to his wrist to see that his sleeve had ridden up just enough to bare the scar wrapping around it. He'd written _bracelets_ in his journal, from what she remembered, but she'd learned that he really meant anything on the sensitive skin there. He still hadn't told her what it was from. She didn't want to pry, though.

"Those things I'm scared of… Sometimes, I panic like you did just now. It's been more than ten years since… any of that happened," he said slowly. Cobra finished the final stitch, then reached into the kit for antiseptic wipes and ointment. "Still, I have flashbacks, and I panic. And if that happens to you with me around, just know I'll help you. And I won't judge."

That made her feel marginally better. Except Macbeth had seen it too. And there was no guarantee that he wasn't thinking she was off her rocker. It wasn't like she wanted him to be her best friend; it was just embarrassing. He'd seen her when she attacked her own boyfriend, because she'd been so sure he was someone else who would have hurt her.

"I can understand where you're coming from," Cobra said, nodding along with her train of thought. He took out the bandages and started wrapping them around her hand, then her fingers and down to her wrist to keep it stable while she healed. "Except Midnight's been the one dealing with my mountains of issues since we were kids. This isn't new territory for him, either."

When it was done, he put everything back into her first aid kit, used the rag to wipe the bloody handprint from his cheek, then tossed the rag on her coffee table. He pulled Lucy closer so she could lean on him. She reveled in the warmth surrounding her, even as she looked at her bandaged hand. Her lips parted to speak.

"Don't be sorry," he whispered. "It's okay. I promise."

Lucy pouted up at him. "No fair, reading my mind like that."

He just smiled and pulled her head to his chest again. "Habit. Now, you relax. Meredy and Midnight will cook, and we'll pretend to enjoy their botched attempt at feeding us."

"I heard that!" Macbeth yelled. "I'd poison your food, but you'd like that too much!"

"Damn right!" Cobra called back. He turned back and kissed the top of her head. Lucy smiled softly when he whispered against her hair, "I love you, Lucy."

She loved it when he said that. She knew it was true, and even though she wasn't at the same place as him, emotionally, that didn't mean that she wanted him to hide his feelings from her. She wanted him to always feel comfortable telling her how he felt. Especially because he'd kept it to himself for so long.

And sometimes, she needed that reassurance that there was someone who _did_ really love her.

"Always, you goober," he chuckled.

Her smile widened. She hoped he'd always love her. She hoped with everything she had that he was telling the truth.

"I know I'm not great at talking about myself," he said after a silent minute. "If you want… I finished writing in that journal. I could… let you borrow it. You could use it to get to know me better."

"I'd like that," she said. "But only if you're really okay with it."

"Yeah," he said, his hold on her tightening briefly. "There's some shit I wouldn't ever tell you unless I was under extreme duress. But… you should know, I guess."

"Anything too nefarious?" she giggled.

"No," he laughed. "Just stuff I think about, shit I like. Random shit, really. And those things I'm scared of. I write about that a lot…"

"I don't wanna pry," she said, her brows pushing together. Her bandaged hand twitched, and she winced. Now that the adrenaline was dying down, that was starting to hurt like crazy. Maybe she'd need to get something for the pain from Meredy like Cobra had mentioned.

"I'm offering, so it's fine," he said. "I'll need the journal back though. It's got my maps for where I hid my shit."

"My precious little squirrel," she crooned, tipping her head back to look up at him.

"The blood loss has clearly made you delirious," he muttered, rolling his eye. A moment later, he smirked down at her. "But you're also making me want to call you that C-word."

Butterflies beat their wings wildly in her belly. "Try," she breathed.

Cobra adjusted so they were both lying on the couch, with her pinned between his body and the back cushions. His gentle smile widened as he cupped her cheek. "You're too cute right now," he whispered.

Lucy smiled back at him, then buried her face in his chest again to hide her brightly burning cheeks. If he wasn't careful, he was going to make her fall in love with him, too.

* * *

"You're absolutely hopeless, you realize that?" Midnight drawled from behind Cobra. Every step Cobra took put the rest of Crime Sorciere further behind him, but he didn't fucking care. Not now that they were in Magnolia. He was so fucking close. He could hear her soul so fucking clearly for the first time in a month, and nothing was going to slow him down.

The only reason he wasn't all-out running was because his pride couldn't take the fucking hit. But speed walking? That was just exercise, really.

"Fuck you, asshole," Cobra said over his shoulder. He hiked his bag higher and put a little more pep in his step. "I still haven't forgiven you for that shit you pulled."

"I think it's kinda sweet that you're so excited to see your girlfriend," Meredy said.

"You _should_ forgive me," Midnight cut in before Cobra could yell at Meredy to mind her own damn business. "If it wasn't for me, she never would've known you liked her. Because you were too much of a bitch to just tell her. So _you're welcome_."

He didn't care that Midnight was technically right. He'd given Cobra multiple opportunities to sac up and tell Lucy how he felt in the past. And Midnight was the one to put Cobra in a trance when he'd heard her team coming from Hargeon and heading toward their camp. Cobra had been trying so hard to get everyone to pack up their shit, until Midnight hit him with that spell. And he'd held Cobra in it until Virgo's chains wrapped around him, waking him up.

"Y'know," Cobra spat, "You've become a real sassy bitch lately."

"I've always been a sassy bitch," Midnight shot back. "I'm just awake enough for a change to call you out on your bullshit."

"This is true," Racer mused. "Why _are_ you awake?"

Cobra smirked and set his attention on the road before them. At the next block, he needed to turn so he could walk up the steps to the Fairy Tail guild. He was _so close_. But if Midnight wanted to play this game, then Cobra was more than willing. "Meredy gave him a blowjob this morning."

"No way!" Angel shouted, rounding on the suddenly blushing Reflector mage beside her when he stumbled.

"Don't act so surprised," Jellal chuckled, speeding up to walk beside Cobra. "Macbeth isn't exactly quiet."

"Unless you sleep like the dead," Cobra laughed. "Angel, be glad you couldn't fucking hear it. I'm gonna have nightmares."

Thank god that got Midnight off his ass. Sure, he was happy in retrospect that his friend had given him the opening to just tell Lucy how he really felt about her. But reading his journal to everyone could have backfired in a major way. Cobra had been shocked to find out later that afternoon, when everyone returned to Crime Sorciere's camp, that Midnight had been trying to play matchmaker for some time. It had been his meddling that put Lucy at the hot spring when he knew Cobra had gone there to soak in the middle of the night.

"I won't lie," Jellal said quietly as they rounded the corner and the guild hall loomed before them. "I'm happy you and Lucy are together."

"Because it gives you more reasons to come see Erza," Cobra snorted.

"That's a definite bonus," Jellal said, smirking over at him. "But it's more than that. She's good for you, Erik."

His eye narrowed half a second before he elbowed Jellal in the side. "What have I said about calling me that?"

"Does she know your name yet?" Jellal coughed.

"... No." He left it at that. They'd been an item for a year, but he'd only been able to see her a few times. This was only his third visit to Magnolia in the past year. Regardless of how often they talked - because he'd caved when she mentioned that he should get a lacrima phone so they could talk to each other - he wasn't ready to tell her about his real name just yet. One day, he would. Just… not yet.

He wasted no time at the doors to the guild, pulling them open just enough so he could slip inside. He scanned the crowded main hall until he spotted her sitting at a table off to the side with Erza and Bickslow. Lucy took a sip of her shake, nodding along with what Bickslow was saying. Cobra grinned and wove between the tables separating him from her. Once he was close enough, he swooped down from behind and wrapped his arms around her.

Lucy shrieked at the sudden assault, then relaxed when his lips brushed across her cheek as he sat straddling the bench. It was the soothing scent of his jacket that gave him away. His stomach roiled with something like giddiness at the thought.

"Hey, cutie," he chuckled against her cheek.

Lucy melted back into him, grinning as his arms wrapped a little more securely around her bare waist. Fuck, he loved her tube tops. "Hey, you."

When she turned to look at him over her shoulder, he captured her supple lips in a quick kiss that left her wanting more. He couldn't get enough of holding her when they were together, and she knew that. She readily accepted his need for affection. It was strange for him though, because he'd never thought this would be something he'd crave. But with her, it was just so easy to latch on and never want to let go.

"I missed you so fucking much," he breathed against her smiling lips.

"I missed you, too," Lucy giggled. He buried his nose against her throat and breathed deeply. Fuck, she smelled like heaven on earth. Had she used that lilac body wash he'd found in a little shop by Crocus? The one that came in a set with shampoo and oil and fucking bath salts? Lucy had been a stammering mess when he gave it to her, and he really hadn't been much better. Because he'd smelled it, and it reminded him of the shampoo she had that he liked. One that complimented her own natural scent so well.

"You guys are too precious for words, y'know," Bickslow said, drawing Lucy's attention back to her previous conversation. She found him simply staring at both her and Cobra as he took off his visor and ruffled his mohawk, trying not to laugh. But this was completely normal for them.

Because every time he saw her after a prolonged absence, Cobra couldn't help but latch onto her like some kind of fucking leech. It didn't matter where they were. He loved the reminder that she was all his, and he was all hers, and that even though they didn't get a lot of time together, these moments that they could steal were worth it.

Lucy rarely reciprocated in public. Like she'd told him, all she needed was being able to hold his hand while they were out together. As Cobra had come to learn about himself, he was a needy bitch.

Oddly enough, she loved this about him.

But he already knew that she was excited for him to be there, and that she'd become the spidermonkey later on when they were all alone at her apartment. He'd accepted that. Granted, her clingy ass was always mostly clothed - last time, she'd gotten down to her bra and panties before the snugglefest started, and he'd had a field day with all the brand new skin to explore. Of course, she'd had to wait until Meredy and Macbeth left after dinner.

He'd stumbled back to his guildmates the morning after that with the dumbest fucking grin on his face… Mostly because she'd surprised him bright and early by burying her face in his lap and treating his dick like the most delicious lollipop in the universe. If Jellal hadn't threatened to come to Lucy's apartment and bust down the door to make him leave, Cobra was sure he would have stayed forever.

"I love you," he whispered, nipping at her earring.

"- And then, I swear to god, you should've seen Freed's hair when Laxus' lightning went haywire!" Bickslow cackled. "It was all standing up, Cosplayer!"

Lucy laughed as well. Cobra knew she wouldn't say it back to him. She still wasn't there, and that was okay. He also knew for a fact that she wanted him to tell her just how he felt whenever the mood struck. Because she wanted him to feel comfortable saying it, and there was no reason for him to hide it from her. Even when he wondered if he sounded stupid for saying it too often, she just smiled and kissed him and said that it made her happy to know he loved her so much.

This was the first time he'd ever said it while they were around other people, though. The thought alone should have terrified him, but he didn't fucking care who knew how he felt about her.

God, how could he have missed her so much? They saw each other just last month!

He was pathetic, that's how.

Lucy sighed as Bickslow's babies whirled through the air, drawing his attention away from the story he'd been telling her about his team's latest mission. She smiled while burying her fingers under Cobra's sleeve so she could gently touch his scarred wrist. That definitely got his attention. But she knew to be careful with his wrists. She'd told him when she finished reading his journal a couple weeks back. Because they hadn't been face-to-face, he was a little more comfortable talking about what he'd gone through as a kid, and then with Brain. He'd told her how sensitive his scars were, and that he was uncomfortable when most things touched them.

Cobra glanced down at her hand, his eye honing in on the fresh, pink scar wrapping around the juncture of her thumb and forefinger. Good, it was healing fine. He'd been worried as hell that his stitches hadn't been good enough.

He lifted his head to look into her eyes when she turned toward him slightly.

"I love you too, sweetheart," she whispered back. She was the only one who noticed how his eye widened, how he smiled wider than before and buried his nose in her hair, how he held her just a little tighter for a moment.

She said it back. She really said it.

'_And now that I've officially told him, I think I'm ready. Checked that box, and now he can check my box. Okay, that was a horrible pun…'_

"Oh, really?" he chuckled, inching closer to her so her body was flush against him. He hadn't realized that she'd held off on getting more physical until she felt like she loved him. "Should we leave right now, then?"

"_Really, you big ol' perv. And no, now I'm making you wait just so you can suffer."_

"That's just cruel," he rasped. His nose slid down the column of her throat, bringing the most delicious little goosebumps to her flesh.

"_Honestly, last time I saw you, I just about gave up and let you fuck me."_

"And what would I have had to do to make that happen?" he asked. Sure, it was already in the past, but he was curious. And if she wasn't careful, he was going to have a raging fucking boner here in the middle of the guild. He was already thinking back to the last time they'd been together. How she'd surprised him with a blowjob in the morning, and how she'd been thinking about the way he'd taken care of her the night before when she'd had a flashback.

Fuck, he was getting way too excited. He wanted her. Every inch of her. Right then and there. He wanted to lay her out and have her whimpering his name just from using his lips and tongue. He wanted to see her fall apart. He wanted to hear the way her soul opened up for him when he brought her to the brink of ecstasy again and again.

"_Sucked on mah tatas. Om nom nom."_

Cobra laughed loudly, doubling over and taking her with him when she mentally made lewd suckling sounds that were so obnoxious, he was sure she would have run away screaming if he'd actually sounded that way. And she called _him_ the pervert! He knew for a fact that she'd had one or two wet dreams about him in the past year.

'_I love making him laugh like this… If the hell I went through with Darren is the price I had to pay for having Cobra in my life now, it was worth it.'_

The errant thought deep in her soul was unexpected. More than unexpected. He was downright floored by her thinking that she deserved that sort of torture. She'd never deserved it. He wished more than anything that he'd stopped her suffering sooner.

He wouldn't even entertain the thought that maybe she was right. Because she couldn't be more wrong. She didn't need to have lived through that hell just to be able to understand him better. Sure, she was able to look at his issues from her own perspective, using her own experiences as a jumping off point to understand where he was coming from. But she'd always been empathetic. She could have done that without having to suffer through an abusive boyfriend.

"You're wrong," he breathed. "Please don't ever think like that."

"Like what?"

"There's no price to pay," he said. "I'm pretty sure I was always meant to be with you."

When he saw her blinking back tears, Cobra questioned whether he'd said something wrong. But she turned in his arms and hugged him so tightly, those doubts were washed away in an instant.

"You two are so sappy, it makes me sick," Midnight said, plopping down on a bench at the table next to theirs.

"Better get another blowie from Meredy then," Lucy teased.

Cobra and Bickslow laughed when Midnight went red in the face.

"Cobra, seriously?!"

"I didn't say shit, man," he cackled.

"Nope. She called me asking for pointers last night," Lucy said. "She saw Cobra's face that one day. Wanted to know what I did to turn him to putty."

"Wait, what?" Bickslow laughed, holding up his hand for a high five that Lucy happily returned. "Damn, go Cosplayer!"

"So fucking worth it," Cobra hummed. "You can make me your bitch anytime."

"You're so whipped," Midnight muttered.

"Macbeth, come over here!" Meredy called out from the table she'd commandeered with Angel and Gray. Midnight perked up, and darted to the other table.

Cobra smirked. "What a fucking hypocrite."

He didn't give a shit what anyone said. He had Lucy in his life, when he'd been resigned to living a loveless existence. She pulled him out of his comfort zone every chance she got (within reason), and he'd yet to regret taking a chance with one of her crazy ideas. Even her cockamamey plan to get him to go to the guild's pool with her later that day - something he never would have agreed to in a million years before Lucy came along - didn't sound all that bad.

'_... got that oil from Bickslow… I wonder if he'll let me try giving him a massage…'_

She loved him - a hopeless former slave whose solution to dealing with her abusive boyfriend was a brutal murder. And he loved her with everything he had. Maybe Jellal was right, though. Maybe it really was time for him to tell her the name he'd been given at birth. Maybe he could open up just a little more, and actually let someone call him the name that he hadn't wanted anyone to know in years.

'_... get oiled up myself, and then we can practice Boscan Oil Wrestling… naked… hehehe…'_

He questioned her sanity a lot over the last year, but she was his everything.

Cobra wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

_**.The End.**_


End file.
